Wednesday, July 13, 2011
studying for the Bar sucks
I can blame my absence on law school but studying for the VA Bar Exam really sucks and hopefully I make it through to begin blogging again.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
True Blood....
So I have been thinking (a dangerous past time, I know) and I need others opinion on my most recent observation.
So recently, I just started watching the HBO series True Blood, wanting to check out the hype. And there is something going on besides vampires being "outted" in the world. Going in my list of things I am just getting tired of seeing. Maybe it just me but I am tired of seeing negative images of my people as fodder for making the wheels run on series. How can we be satisfied with "well at least they have some black characters on the show" and "well that's pretty realistic." The hell if it is. I am not satisfied with the fact that there are three black main characters on this show and all of them are massively jacked up. Even the extras that appear on the show in Season 1 are jacked up. Since there is only one black man on the show, lets start there.
Lafeyette (played by the super fine Nelsan Ellis - can anybody get a sister his number?) is a gay drug dealer and short order cook. Are we serious? Someone would see the gay part as a huge big deal but if that was just it I actually wouldn't care. He's also a drug dealer. You mean the only image you could come up with for him is drug dealer. How original HBO. On the show, you can clearly tell that he is more intelligent and insightful than most other characters, but this is all downplayed by his sometimes queeny and b*tchy behavior.
The women are a mess and its hard to even cut through all the negativity to see any good. Tara, the main character's best friend, is an emotional wreck. Set up with a drunk mother (another black female on the show) who abuses her, she carries the emotional albatross so that she is incapable of being emotionally stable so spews out all kinds of nastiness to everyone around her. Of course, she is tragically in love with a white man she can never have and doesn't happen to mind being a little promiscuous w/ her boss because she is so lonely. The only other black woman to appear on the show so far since I have been watching has been an extra vampire who is clearly promiscuous and has a nasty attitude as well. And this is portrayed as "oh they are strong and intelligent, but clearly underneath they are vulnerable and feel pain." Well I am a little sick of it.
Don't tell me its because the story is set in backwoods Louisiana. Don't tell me that's how it is. When you are selling a fantasy show about vampires being out in the world, how real do you really need to keep it? Why couldn't the lead character have been a black girl who falls in love with the vampire? Why can't I at least get one positive image of a black woman on the show? Is it too much to ask for a black woman who is pleasant? Only the white girl can be sugar and spice and everything nice... ah tv writers, you have got to do me more justice than that. When are these stereotypes going to get old.....
So recently, I just started watching the HBO series True Blood, wanting to check out the hype. And there is something going on besides vampires being "outted" in the world. Going in my list of things I am just getting tired of seeing. Maybe it just me but I am tired of seeing negative images of my people as fodder for making the wheels run on series. How can we be satisfied with "well at least they have some black characters on the show" and "well that's pretty realistic." The hell if it is. I am not satisfied with the fact that there are three black main characters on this show and all of them are massively jacked up. Even the extras that appear on the show in Season 1 are jacked up. Since there is only one black man on the show, lets start there.
Lafeyette (played by the super fine Nelsan Ellis - can anybody get a sister his number?) is a gay drug dealer and short order cook. Are we serious? Someone would see the gay part as a huge big deal but if that was just it I actually wouldn't care. He's also a drug dealer. You mean the only image you could come up with for him is drug dealer. How original HBO. On the show, you can clearly tell that he is more intelligent and insightful than most other characters, but this is all downplayed by his sometimes queeny and b*tchy behavior.
The women are a mess and its hard to even cut through all the negativity to see any good. Tara, the main character's best friend, is an emotional wreck. Set up with a drunk mother (another black female on the show) who abuses her, she carries the emotional albatross so that she is incapable of being emotionally stable so spews out all kinds of nastiness to everyone around her. Of course, she is tragically in love with a white man she can never have and doesn't happen to mind being a little promiscuous w/ her boss because she is so lonely. The only other black woman to appear on the show so far since I have been watching has been an extra vampire who is clearly promiscuous and has a nasty attitude as well. And this is portrayed as "oh they are strong and intelligent, but clearly underneath they are vulnerable and feel pain." Well I am a little sick of it.
Don't tell me its because the story is set in backwoods Louisiana. Don't tell me that's how it is. When you are selling a fantasy show about vampires being out in the world, how real do you really need to keep it? Why couldn't the lead character have been a black girl who falls in love with the vampire? Why can't I at least get one positive image of a black woman on the show? Is it too much to ask for a black woman who is pleasant? Only the white girl can be sugar and spice and everything nice... ah tv writers, you have got to do me more justice than that. When are these stereotypes going to get old.....
Friday, June 12, 2009
What Overweight is Not
See here's the biggest problem I have with big people. Other big girls are my reasoning for losing weight. Its not because they are big or unattractive, its because they are sloppy. I am a firm believer that you can be beautiful at any size and what presents a major problem to me is that there are those people (women in general) think that being overweight or big is an excuse to look a hot ass mess. This is definitely not the case. And this does not mean you have to be dressed to the nines or a super expensive wardrobe, it just means being kept up. For instance....
- Since when did it become attractive to have fat rolls? I am pretty sure that even back in the day, they had corsets just for this reason to present a more pleasing body shape. Now while I am not condoning crushing your rib cage as a means to look thin, I am condoning the wearing of a girdle to look shapely. A muffin top is not attractive and why in the heck aren't you wearing your pants and your waist line anyway.....
-For my brothers, just because you are big does not mean you have to confine yourself to the long tee and jeans look. Please go ahead and step your game back up and spend the extra dollars needed to dress yourself as a grown man. Long tee and jeans is for the children - if you are thirty and you think this is a going out look, please do not holla...
-Clothing designers: Have ya'll lost ya damn minds? Let's not even start why you give big women they tightest, flimsiest material but then you turn around a charge $60 dollars for the shirt like you actually used that much extra fabric. Let me put you on to something... we don't need for our clothes to cost a million dollars and one of these days soon Lane B and Ashley, I am gonna run yall out of business with sensible, affordable, and appealing clothing for the big girl.
-General Hygiene for the ladies and the fellas: its summer time. Lets all please start checking ourselves right at the front door and more than once a day. If you know you are going to be out in the heat, prepare. Lets not look all sweaty( = not attractive.) Have an earthy odor (= not attractive.) Not keep the hair, the nails, and general appearance kept up. (Men this includes hair edged up, beards trimmed, and dreds locked tight.)
For these reasons, I think it is why society finds it easier to shun people who are a bigger size. A line in a movie I recently watched said, "People care about people who care about themselves." And while it was used in a different context in the film, I do find a kernel of truth in this. Please don't whine and complain that you can't find any one if you are not doing what is required to attract a quality mate. And these are just some general observations of the world around me. Cuz if I see one more big girl with a huge muffin top, many fat rolls, and tight as hell clothing on and then thinking she is the ish I am really, really going to snap! Let's take better care of ourselves people. These are seriously the things that being overweight is not....
For now I remain - shapely, sensationally yours,
Queen S
- Since when did it become attractive to have fat rolls? I am pretty sure that even back in the day, they had corsets just for this reason to present a more pleasing body shape. Now while I am not condoning crushing your rib cage as a means to look thin, I am condoning the wearing of a girdle to look shapely. A muffin top is not attractive and why in the heck aren't you wearing your pants and your waist line anyway.....
-For my brothers, just because you are big does not mean you have to confine yourself to the long tee and jeans look. Please go ahead and step your game back up and spend the extra dollars needed to dress yourself as a grown man. Long tee and jeans is for the children - if you are thirty and you think this is a going out look, please do not holla...
-Clothing designers: Have ya'll lost ya damn minds? Let's not even start why you give big women they tightest, flimsiest material but then you turn around a charge $60 dollars for the shirt like you actually used that much extra fabric. Let me put you on to something... we don't need for our clothes to cost a million dollars and one of these days soon Lane B and Ashley, I am gonna run yall out of business with sensible, affordable, and appealing clothing for the big girl.
-General Hygiene for the ladies and the fellas: its summer time. Lets all please start checking ourselves right at the front door and more than once a day. If you know you are going to be out in the heat, prepare. Lets not look all sweaty( = not attractive.) Have an earthy odor (= not attractive.) Not keep the hair, the nails, and general appearance kept up. (Men this includes hair edged up, beards trimmed, and dreds locked tight.)
For these reasons, I think it is why society finds it easier to shun people who are a bigger size. A line in a movie I recently watched said, "People care about people who care about themselves." And while it was used in a different context in the film, I do find a kernel of truth in this. Please don't whine and complain that you can't find any one if you are not doing what is required to attract a quality mate. And these are just some general observations of the world around me. Cuz if I see one more big girl with a huge muffin top, many fat rolls, and tight as hell clothing on and then thinking she is the ish I am really, really going to snap! Let's take better care of ourselves people. These are seriously the things that being overweight is not....
For now I remain - shapely, sensationally yours,
Queen S
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Only in Real Life
Since when did I stop believing in fairy tales. I am not exactly sure but I know that real life has hit me like a brick because in the real world your dreams are always on the back burner - there always seems to be something a little more pressing in your life that needs to be taken care of. Because in fairy tales....
-Finding in a significant other is as simple as wishing for him/her and waiting to be rescued from being single
-if you are a hard working woman, you are rewarded with admiration and your enemies at the job are eventually squashed
-there is a benefactor out there waiting to reward you with your heart's desire, if only for a little while, for all the suffering you have put in over the years
-your parents might not understand at first but then come to accept and respect your choices
-happily ever after is certainly waiting for you at the end
In the real world, happily ever after is not so certain. Broken homes, broken marriages, broken relationships, broken finances are all hurdles that must be jumped over, kicked down, avoided, if at all possible, in order to find that ideal. But even if I stopped believing that I could live a fairy tale - I haven't stopped believe in "ever after" b/c if I did that - life would only be the hurdles with no reward and what's the sense of living for that?
-Finding in a significant other is as simple as wishing for him/her and waiting to be rescued from being single
-if you are a hard working woman, you are rewarded with admiration and your enemies at the job are eventually squashed
-there is a benefactor out there waiting to reward you with your heart's desire, if only for a little while, for all the suffering you have put in over the years
-your parents might not understand at first but then come to accept and respect your choices
-happily ever after is certainly waiting for you at the end
In the real world, happily ever after is not so certain. Broken homes, broken marriages, broken relationships, broken finances are all hurdles that must be jumped over, kicked down, avoided, if at all possible, in order to find that ideal. But even if I stopped believing that I could live a fairy tale - I haven't stopped believe in "ever after" b/c if I did that - life would only be the hurdles with no reward and what's the sense of living for that?
Monday, June 01, 2009
When It Rains...
We all know the ending to that statement. It seems like any time something bad happens to you, then it happens ALOT. Noone came up with the saying, "When it's sunny, it's hot.." or something like that. It has to do with negativity. So what's my negativity? Its relationship negativity; The current men in my life. When it rains it pours....
Back last year, I decided to try online dating. I had an ad it seemed on every dating site out there from eharmony.com to chemistry.com to adventistsingles even to craigslist! I did not meet a lot of nice guys or get many dates but no big deal. I did meet, as we are going to call him, Muscles. Muscles has the build of a bodybuilder, an old-school Arnold Schwarzenegger. Big just like I like 'em. And he was sweeet and nice. We talked for months online and then finally met in October and began sort of casually dating. Things seemed to be going ok but there some mishaps here and there with regards to communcation that caused me to decide we needed to bring our dating to a close. He was slipping up to early for me to keep him around. So its been since November and then a couple of weeks ago - he starts emailing me from Iraq. Muscles is in the Navy. And its been a daily stream of emails and pics and all sorts of foolishness. He will be back early August.....
I've known Eyes, as we will call him, since middle school. I have been head over hills for those beautiful hazel eyes since I first saw him. Even though back then as a gangly gangsta wigga teen, he had the thickest coke bottle glasses you had ever seen and all the girls called him ugly. I saw beyond it. Saw what he could be - how he could look with just a little time and effort. He had a cockiness and self-assuredness that was so attractive. Since that time, our relationship has been on-again, off-again - friends or the kind with benefits - and eventually dating for a month in November 2007 until Dec. 2007. After breaking up, we went back to being friends. He left to pursue his undergraduate degree out in Kansas in May 08 without a kiss goodbye. The problems - our relationship has changed a great deal but he is still a selfish lover in more ways than in the bedroom. He has a dependency on the women in his life that he won't admit. He expects more than he is willing to give of himself. I hadn't hear from in a year since he left for school, and he called me last night.....
Everyone needs a little bit of bad boy in their life and Cali was mine. Rarely could I tell all the truth from the lies so its hard to tell you our story. We met randomly in 2005 while I was visiting a friend at his job at the mall. Since then its been a dramatic, emotional, on-again-off-again, tumultuous chaos. But noone has ever made me feel as cherished and loved as he. He always knew the real me and loved every part of just who I was. His love was addictive cuz you could look in his eyes and see noone else but you, feel his love in his voice with his arms wrapped around you (even if you were really one of two.) Too many problems in the relationship to recount but we parted ways for the last time in February of this year. My phone rang this morning as I was walking out of my door.....
My motto is they are exes for a reason.(or multiples reasons sometimes lol) So what to do? I think the real problem is I think I can be friends with everyone or my exes in particular. Like with the instance of Eyes, I could never see myself not talking to him again - we are friends. How to keep it from developing into something more? How to keep them all on the back burner cuz I don't really want any of them in particular, except Muscles maybe - he really is sweet. Somebody grab me an umbrella, a poncho, and a rescue boat cuz it looks like its getting ready to storm.
Back last year, I decided to try online dating. I had an ad it seemed on every dating site out there from eharmony.com to chemistry.com to adventistsingles even to craigslist! I did not meet a lot of nice guys or get many dates but no big deal. I did meet, as we are going to call him, Muscles. Muscles has the build of a bodybuilder, an old-school Arnold Schwarzenegger. Big just like I like 'em. And he was sweeet and nice. We talked for months online and then finally met in October and began sort of casually dating. Things seemed to be going ok but there some mishaps here and there with regards to communcation that caused me to decide we needed to bring our dating to a close. He was slipping up to early for me to keep him around. So its been since November and then a couple of weeks ago - he starts emailing me from Iraq. Muscles is in the Navy. And its been a daily stream of emails and pics and all sorts of foolishness. He will be back early August.....
I've known Eyes, as we will call him, since middle school. I have been head over hills for those beautiful hazel eyes since I first saw him. Even though back then as a gangly gangsta wigga teen, he had the thickest coke bottle glasses you had ever seen and all the girls called him ugly. I saw beyond it. Saw what he could be - how he could look with just a little time and effort. He had a cockiness and self-assuredness that was so attractive. Since that time, our relationship has been on-again, off-again - friends or the kind with benefits - and eventually dating for a month in November 2007 until Dec. 2007. After breaking up, we went back to being friends. He left to pursue his undergraduate degree out in Kansas in May 08 without a kiss goodbye. The problems - our relationship has changed a great deal but he is still a selfish lover in more ways than in the bedroom. He has a dependency on the women in his life that he won't admit. He expects more than he is willing to give of himself. I hadn't hear from in a year since he left for school, and he called me last night.....
Everyone needs a little bit of bad boy in their life and Cali was mine. Rarely could I tell all the truth from the lies so its hard to tell you our story. We met randomly in 2005 while I was visiting a friend at his job at the mall. Since then its been a dramatic, emotional, on-again-off-again, tumultuous chaos. But noone has ever made me feel as cherished and loved as he. He always knew the real me and loved every part of just who I was. His love was addictive cuz you could look in his eyes and see noone else but you, feel his love in his voice with his arms wrapped around you (even if you were really one of two.) Too many problems in the relationship to recount but we parted ways for the last time in February of this year. My phone rang this morning as I was walking out of my door.....
My motto is they are exes for a reason.(or multiples reasons sometimes lol) So what to do? I think the real problem is I think I can be friends with everyone or my exes in particular. Like with the instance of Eyes, I could never see myself not talking to him again - we are friends. How to keep it from developing into something more? How to keep them all on the back burner cuz I don't really want any of them in particular, except Muscles maybe - he really is sweet. Somebody grab me an umbrella, a poncho, and a rescue boat cuz it looks like its getting ready to storm.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Not Special!
A repost for Sexy Thought.... but it needed to be said - AMEN!
anyway, i told him i had my own little opinion about relationships:
black men are becoming increasingly demanding without even offering half of what they should in return.
yes, i said it. cause i feel like i've been witnessing men wanting a woman to do this that and the other and they aren't even great providers or people you can depend on or even giving basic minimums. n-words with no jobs and a rack of kids act like they should be catered to. stingy men think the world should revolve around them. men want to be black women's everything barely giving anything to become that everything.
I also have some news for you black men (i'm speaking to yall cause i don' t really know about other men).
Stop thinking you are special or should be treated special for doing ordinary shit or doing the shit you are supposed to do!
honestly:
if you have a job:
you are NOT special. Most of us have jobs. we get jobs, keep jobs or at least look for jobs. this does not make you anybody, it makes you everybody. getting a job is what you are supposed to do. who else will get one for you?
if you pay your bills:
you are NOT special. Most of us pay our bills. we complain about it, but we know we have no choice but to do it. its a responsibility. it is what happens when you become an adult. paying your bills is what you are are supposed to do! its not optional. do you expect someone else to pay your bills for you?
if you went to college:
you are NOT special. Most of us aspire to go to college, have been to college, have completed college or have gone past college. going to school is what you should want to do not what you should be rewarded for doing!
if you have good credit:
this might make you special. but its still what you are supposed to do!
if you have children and take care of them:
you are NOT special. When you have sex, you do so with the full knowledge that it might lead to conception. The birth of a child obliges you to take care of and nuture that child during their time here on earth. If you provide for that child, it is your responsibility. taking care of your children is something you are obliged to do!
if you treat me right:
you are NOT special. Labelling our relationship, being my better half, being reliable, being faithful, being nice, caring, understanding and loving, that shit is what men are SUPPOSED to do. if you compare yourself to no good n-words and thing that you deserve cookies for that, you need to aim higher. cause treating me right is what you should do!
sorry i got all passionate about this, but i just think people need to know. women need to stop acting like they are being done a favor by men dating them. neither of you are doing each other a favor. you both bring something to the table. and when men don't bring something to the table and women feel like they can't do better. that's even worse.cause you both need to bring something to the table. don't fool yourself or anyone else into thinking that bring the above puts you on a pedastal. these are things you are supposed to at least try to bring to the table. We have to start expecting more of ourselves and more of others.
okay...don't with the preaching.
anyway, i told him i had my own little opinion about relationships:
black men are becoming increasingly demanding without even offering half of what they should in return.
yes, i said it. cause i feel like i've been witnessing men wanting a woman to do this that and the other and they aren't even great providers or people you can depend on or even giving basic minimums. n-words with no jobs and a rack of kids act like they should be catered to. stingy men think the world should revolve around them. men want to be black women's everything barely giving anything to become that everything.
I also have some news for you black men (i'm speaking to yall cause i don' t really know about other men).
Stop thinking you are special or should be treated special for doing ordinary shit or doing the shit you are supposed to do!
honestly:
if you have a job:
you are NOT special. Most of us have jobs. we get jobs, keep jobs or at least look for jobs. this does not make you anybody, it makes you everybody. getting a job is what you are supposed to do. who else will get one for you?
if you pay your bills:
you are NOT special. Most of us pay our bills. we complain about it, but we know we have no choice but to do it. its a responsibility. it is what happens when you become an adult. paying your bills is what you are are supposed to do! its not optional. do you expect someone else to pay your bills for you?
if you went to college:
you are NOT special. Most of us aspire to go to college, have been to college, have completed college or have gone past college. going to school is what you should want to do not what you should be rewarded for doing!
if you have good credit:
this might make you special. but its still what you are supposed to do!
if you have children and take care of them:
you are NOT special. When you have sex, you do so with the full knowledge that it might lead to conception. The birth of a child obliges you to take care of and nuture that child during their time here on earth. If you provide for that child, it is your responsibility. taking care of your children is something you are obliged to do!
if you treat me right:
you are NOT special. Labelling our relationship, being my better half, being reliable, being faithful, being nice, caring, understanding and loving, that shit is what men are SUPPOSED to do. if you compare yourself to no good n-words and thing that you deserve cookies for that, you need to aim higher. cause treating me right is what you should do!
sorry i got all passionate about this, but i just think people need to know. women need to stop acting like they are being done a favor by men dating them. neither of you are doing each other a favor. you both bring something to the table. and when men don't bring something to the table and women feel like they can't do better. that's even worse.cause you both need to bring something to the table. don't fool yourself or anyone else into thinking that bring the above puts you on a pedastal. these are things you are supposed to at least try to bring to the table. We have to start expecting more of ourselves and more of others.
okay...don't with the preaching.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
ANTM
Just in case you don't know the acronym that stands for America's Next Top Model. And I am happy that Teyonna won last night even though I was rooting for Aminat. I am so glad that Allison did not win! Tyra needs to get over this little strange/oddity look obsession cuz weird ain't always pretty. But speaking of ANTM check out the latest - yea I gotta say I am looking FIERCE!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
if I won the lottery
so here's what I would do if I won the lottery - what about YOU?
-tithe the money of course to my church and conference
-pay off my parent's home, renovate it, and by them a new home here in VA, one in ATL, and one in San Antonio, TX
-buy my dad the truck he's always wanted and a new car for my mom
-buy my grandmother a new house with a huge kitchen and den and play room
-pay for my sister's grad school, and my brother's undergrad
-still invest a million
-put aside some money to take care of other family incidentals
-give money to the College of William and Mary for a new performing arts center/music building
-travel the world and take my closest friends with me
-buy an aston martin
-stay in the penthouse suite of a hotel
-and then split the rest with my friends! so we could all be rich:-D
-tithe the money of course to my church and conference
-pay off my parent's home, renovate it, and by them a new home here in VA, one in ATL, and one in San Antonio, TX
-buy my dad the truck he's always wanted and a new car for my mom
-buy my grandmother a new house with a huge kitchen and den and play room
-pay for my sister's grad school, and my brother's undergrad
-still invest a million
-put aside some money to take care of other family incidentals
-give money to the College of William and Mary for a new performing arts center/music building
-travel the world and take my closest friends with me
-buy an aston martin
-stay in the penthouse suite of a hotel
-and then split the rest with my friends! so we could all be rich:-D
The Final Frontier
So here's the question: Why is the jealousy still there? Why when I see a black man with a white woman do I stil get mad and a little upset?
Its not that I wouldn't date a white man and I don't want brothers to be happy but I just don't understand it sometimes. And it seems to be inherent, like something I cannot control.
I personally, contrary to popular belief about me, would rather date a black man. I am more attracted to them and I am into supporting the brothers. However, with the current state of affairs, I am not opposed to dating outside my race.
So really I want some comments on my first question - why am I upset seeing a black man with a white woman AND why does you believe (cuz this assumption comes from my friends) that I would rather date a white guy?
Its not that I wouldn't date a white man and I don't want brothers to be happy but I just don't understand it sometimes. And it seems to be inherent, like something I cannot control.
I personally, contrary to popular belief about me, would rather date a black man. I am more attracted to them and I am into supporting the brothers. However, with the current state of affairs, I am not opposed to dating outside my race.
So really I want some comments on my first question - why am I upset seeing a black man with a white woman AND why does you believe (cuz this assumption comes from my friends) that I would rather date a white guy?
Monday, May 04, 2009
Green Light...
and I'm ready to go! I am up feeling good - Thank you Lord that it is summer time and I don't have class to go to. While that doesn't mean I can just laze about, it does feel good not to have to go to class. I am on a John Legend tip. Ready to go, right now! So on the agenda today is some house cleaning and laundry.
Thoughts for today:
1. Why do I absolutely love the song Don't Make Me Over by Sybil?
2. Most played song on my iTunes - Can You Believe by Robin Thicke
3. I really can't wait to see the movie Wolverine!
4. I have a case of the ex.
Thoughts for today:
1. Why do I absolutely love the song Don't Make Me Over by Sybil?
2. Most played song on my iTunes - Can You Believe by Robin Thicke
3. I really can't wait to see the movie Wolverine!
4. I have a case of the ex.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wrap Up
OK so I have been trying to be on the good tip lately - praise HIM that he has been keeping me from falling off and hopefully helping me to move closer to him - BUT I am putting myself on front street again. So I emailed/texted an ex-whatever and told him what was up and how I was feeling. He clearly wanted to handle my problem lickety split. But here's where it gets ridiculous. Are you trying to tell me that I gotta provide the condoms now? are we serious?! this MF had the nerve to come up with some lame excuse as to why he can't stop by the store and pick the rubbers up and we all know its not going down without any protection.
But is this the level of shdayness men have come to - and really by shady I mean lazy as hell - shit I was given the goods away for a change, not even going to make you do any real work for it and you couldn't come up with like four dollars to get the latex. Pissed me the hell off and killed the damn mood. The reasons why I only let you hit it once and the reasons I have refused your subsequent advances have come back to me - you ain't about ish, even in the bedroom and that's a damn shame.
But is this the level of shdayness men have come to - and really by shady I mean lazy as hell - shit I was given the goods away for a change, not even going to make you do any real work for it and you couldn't come up with like four dollars to get the latex. Pissed me the hell off and killed the damn mood. The reasons why I only let you hit it once and the reasons I have refused your subsequent advances have come back to me - you ain't about ish, even in the bedroom and that's a damn shame.
Monday, April 27, 2009
a little addicted
so right now - I am putting myself on front street - not that it matters cuz I don't think anyone but cyber space will see this. I have destructive tendencies and behaviors - when I hit rock bottom - when I feel really down, what do I really want very deep down? I want sex - mind numbing, ridiculous, delicious sex and to just check out in a fantasy for a little while. just something to take the edge off - destress a little bit, makes me feel good. doesn't that sound like a drug to you... sounds like one to me... but it would be so good to just lose myself in someone arms just for a little while..... and the alone time is not going to cut it - i need that skin to skin, touching contact of being consumed by someone else.... ahhhhh so good.... well unless you know any takers i guess its back to studying.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
So I have a friend who, sometimes, I like to call the male version of me - definitely ambitious, vivacious, intellegient, and has a passion for movies and music that trumps my own (so does yours A-rod). He wrote a blog on Monday to start some discussion and it has truly intrigued me as well. I repeat that blog below and would love to hear your thoughts. Now it’s a lot of reading and requires some thought, but I know you are all up to the task cuz its a very interesting article.
Magazine Matters - Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough - The Atlantic
By Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb is a graduate of Stanford Medical School, a New York Times best selling author, a contributor to NPR, who has written for The New York Times, Time, and The Atlantic. Her career is a runaway success, yet at 40, she’s still single. She wrote, what amounts to an open letter to young, smart, career minded woman, in the March issue of Atlantic, begging them to settle for "Mr. Good Enough." It’s a very funny/sad article that made me at once ecstatic to be a man and sad for my female friends for whom this article was written.
Many of those friends, mostly twnetysomethings, have gotten their hands on the article and have been talking about it fervently. I would be interested in hearing their thoughts and I hope they take a moment to respond to this post with their feelings about the article. I did talk to one of my married friends who is in her early 30’s and without even reading the article she agreed 100 percent that women should settle. This is a non-issue for me because I’ll never have to settle. If I don’t find the women of my dreams (a 20 something with a bright future and a palpable sexual energy) in the next 15 years, I’ll still have another 15 years to keep looking and never diminish my ability to start a family. Women on the other hand, only have a short window to procreate.
Is this fair? Yes. Men are born with just enough genetic code to exist, while women are born with the complete catalogue of the human genetic code. Therefore women are the greater sex. They have the power to create life with the help of just a few cells. Men need an entire woman to pass on their genes. Once science figures out how to manufacture sperm in the lab, the arguments for keeping men around will hold less and less weight. Men start wars, die sooner, are stupider, and most of us go bald. The advantages we do have are that we get more attractive as we age and our sperm works well into our 70’s. So I don’t feel bad that you have to have all your children by 37.
Read the article and let’s have a discussion.
Magazine Matters - Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough - The Atlantic
By Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb is a graduate of Stanford Medical School, a New York Times best selling author, a contributor to NPR, who has written for The New York Times, Time, and The Atlantic. Her career is a runaway success, yet at 40, she’s still single. She wrote, what amounts to an open letter to young, smart, career minded woman, in the March issue of Atlantic, begging them to settle for "Mr. Good Enough." It’s a very funny/sad article that made me at once ecstatic to be a man and sad for my female friends for whom this article was written.
Many of those friends, mostly twnetysomethings, have gotten their hands on the article and have been talking about it fervently. I would be interested in hearing their thoughts and I hope they take a moment to respond to this post with their feelings about the article. I did talk to one of my married friends who is in her early 30’s and without even reading the article she agreed 100 percent that women should settle. This is a non-issue for me because I’ll never have to settle. If I don’t find the women of my dreams (a 20 something with a bright future and a palpable sexual energy) in the next 15 years, I’ll still have another 15 years to keep looking and never diminish my ability to start a family. Women on the other hand, only have a short window to procreate.
Is this fair? Yes. Men are born with just enough genetic code to exist, while women are born with the complete catalogue of the human genetic code. Therefore women are the greater sex. They have the power to create life with the help of just a few cells. Men need an entire woman to pass on their genes. Once science figures out how to manufacture sperm in the lab, the arguments for keeping men around will hold less and less weight. Men start wars, die sooner, are stupider, and most of us go bald. The advantages we do have are that we get more attractive as we age and our sperm works well into our 70’s. So I don’t feel bad that you have to have all your children by 37.
Read the article and let’s have a discussion.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Tragedy?
First real blog of "The Ocho" and I have to say that I am sad that I have been missing out on my fellow bloggers words of wisdom as of late.
But to the topic of this post... You know it is really sad that the moment I logged on instant messenger tonight - I said hello to a couple of people and began to dabble at peoples away mesages. Instantly I was inundated with questions of "Did you hear about Heath Ledger?!" Shock and awe this above average actor died of a not yet labeled "overdose." I do not mean to be callous - it is sad when anyone's life is loss but I feel a little bitter that I can barely get my friend's to pay attention to the minutia that is my life but Heath Ledge was in more than one bulletin and away message. It is slightly irritating and annoying that this in a month blip in the entertainment section and in a year, highlight in the 2008 countdown, monopolizes so much of people's time. And let me be cliche and throw in that there are people dying every day in a little place called Iraq and much more bravely than a spoiled "escape" from reality.
And finally, how dumb is this? I can't understand the Lindsay Lohan's and Amy Winehouse's and Heath Ledger's. Have you not learned anything from being in the business? Drugs are not the sh*t. Making your life into a pathetic "lessons learned" case is not the way you are going to get an everlasting tribute. You are not Hendrix or Lennon or Phoenix or Dean. Take a look at the sh*t show that is Britney Spears. Anything she ever did is not blown away by her current lifestyle.
So here's to Heath: that actor that played the joker and that gay cowboy who died of an overdose... doesn't sound very glamourous, huh?
For now I remain,
Irritatedly yours,
Shemeka
But to the topic of this post... You know it is really sad that the moment I logged on instant messenger tonight - I said hello to a couple of people and began to dabble at peoples away mesages. Instantly I was inundated with questions of "Did you hear about Heath Ledger?!" Shock and awe this above average actor died of a not yet labeled "overdose." I do not mean to be callous - it is sad when anyone's life is loss but I feel a little bitter that I can barely get my friend's to pay attention to the minutia that is my life but Heath Ledge was in more than one bulletin and away message. It is slightly irritating and annoying that this in a month blip in the entertainment section and in a year, highlight in the 2008 countdown, monopolizes so much of people's time. And let me be cliche and throw in that there are people dying every day in a little place called Iraq and much more bravely than a spoiled "escape" from reality.
And finally, how dumb is this? I can't understand the Lindsay Lohan's and Amy Winehouse's and Heath Ledger's. Have you not learned anything from being in the business? Drugs are not the sh*t. Making your life into a pathetic "lessons learned" case is not the way you are going to get an everlasting tribute. You are not Hendrix or Lennon or Phoenix or Dean. Take a look at the sh*t show that is Britney Spears. Anything she ever did is not blown away by her current lifestyle.
So here's to Heath: that actor that played the joker and that gay cowboy who died of an overdose... doesn't sound very glamourous, huh?
For now I remain,
Irritatedly yours,
Shemeka
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Back in the Saddle?
The problem is that you can not get to blogs from my new job. You can't get to practically anything. Stupid firewalls for the students. However - I've decided to get back in the saddle. If not a couple of times, I will at least try to blog once a week. I know that some of you have less than busy lives and blogging might seem second nature like checking your mail or what not. But I have a feeble mind and while I think of awesome important things to say by the time I can get around to blogging about it - I have lost it, which usually iritates the hell out of me. Oh well, one more time as Daft Punk would say.........
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Shemeka of the Caribbean
I never did write about my fabulous trip to the Bahamas. Needless to say it was lovely and I cannot wait tor return. I am thankful for the friends that I went with. I am blessed by the spiritual lessons I learned. I was invigorated by the peaceful rest and relaxation in and on the water.
We set sail from Florida and I was so tempted to head towards Disney. In fact, we were docked beside the Disney Wonder at some point. We sailed the beautiful Caribbean waters and made port in Nassau, Bahamas. We spent a day exploring the island, went to the beautiful beach and even discoved the lost world of Atlantis.
All in all, if you want to hear more, ask me. However, I do recommend to everyone a cruise. In fact, I hope to go on another cruise in 2007.
For now I remain, Caribbeanly yours:-)
Shemeka
We set sail from Florida and I was so tempted to head towards Disney. In fact, we were docked beside the Disney Wonder at some point. We sailed the beautiful Caribbean waters and made port in Nassau, Bahamas. We spent a day exploring the island, went to the beautiful beach and even discoved the lost world of Atlantis.
All in all, if you want to hear more, ask me. However, I do recommend to everyone a cruise. In fact, I hope to go on another cruise in 2007.
For now I remain, Caribbeanly yours:-)
Shemeka
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Blind Date Doom
An American Folly of Ultimate Proportions
One of the worst things created since the dawn of man
If anyone else can thing of a name for a blind date, please let me know.
Blind dates are for desperate people you might say. You might say, "Shemeka, darling, how did you end up here?" Let's not worry about the particulars, other than to say that I am NOT desperate and it was just a let's see how this thing goes kind of adventure.
The guy:
A friend of a friend's boyfriend who saw my picture on said friend's myspace when looking at said friend's boyfriend's myspace. Follow me so far? Name? Elijah. Occupation? Boat Boy(in the Navy).
The hook-up:
Met one night after bowling practice.
Sounds innocent and harmless enough, you say? What I also thought. We are both WRONG. Problems? His looks. Think back to middle school where it seemed every guy needed severe help in the looks department. Seems if Elijah never left this stage. First things first - teeth. If you know me, you know I have a thing about teeth. The boy needs braces. Immediately. You'd think with all those benefits you get in the Navy that someone would have informed him by now that getting his teeth fixed would be beneficial to his attempts to pick up women. Apparently not. Secondly, the "slighty sweaty as if I am always nervous and a little creepy" thing was a complete turn off. And DONT try to cover anything up by wearing too much cologne - it usually does not work. Finally, the glasses. But "Shemeka, don't you wear glasses," you might ask. Yes, and usually glasses are not a problem for me. Noone has 20/20 these days. However, you mean to tell me that the coke bottle glasses are still around; lenses so thick I think I can see the ex-planet pluto through them? Bad Bad Bad.
Sounds like I am being very superficial. What about this guy's personality? Lascivious people. You can tell that really under all that I want to be a gentleman BS that getting into my pants is goal number one here. Can't stand that - especially can't stand it from someone who has a snowball's chance in hell of getting there. Oh it was sad, laides and gentlemen. We decided to park and watch Lost:Season One on my portable DVD player. After telling him that I am not a touchy feely person (a lie, I know), he really did not keep his hands off me the entire time we sat there. He wanted to kiss my hand and give me a massage and rub his fingers on my arm. It was enough to make me want to puke. Then he tried to feel me up! I almost cold cocked him but we were on the naval base. I tried to make sure I ended it that night but I am almost sure he is not giving up hope. However, he is uninteresting AND he doesn't think Ben Stiller/Jim Carrey are funny. He hates musicals and thinks Denzel Washington is a terrible actor. I mean, Denzel might not be my fave but I know good acting when I see it. Bottom line, disaster. Not just the date but Elijah as a member of the human race.
Blind dates are for suckers and now I know better...... and knowing is half the battle.
For now I remain,
disgustedly yours,
Shemeka
One of the worst things created since the dawn of man
If anyone else can thing of a name for a blind date, please let me know.
Blind dates are for desperate people you might say. You might say, "Shemeka, darling, how did you end up here?" Let's not worry about the particulars, other than to say that I am NOT desperate and it was just a let's see how this thing goes kind of adventure.
The guy:
A friend of a friend's boyfriend who saw my picture on said friend's myspace when looking at said friend's boyfriend's myspace. Follow me so far? Name? Elijah. Occupation? Boat Boy(in the Navy).
The hook-up:
Met one night after bowling practice.
Sounds innocent and harmless enough, you say? What I also thought. We are both WRONG. Problems? His looks. Think back to middle school where it seemed every guy needed severe help in the looks department. Seems if Elijah never left this stage. First things first - teeth. If you know me, you know I have a thing about teeth. The boy needs braces. Immediately. You'd think with all those benefits you get in the Navy that someone would have informed him by now that getting his teeth fixed would be beneficial to his attempts to pick up women. Apparently not. Secondly, the "slighty sweaty as if I am always nervous and a little creepy" thing was a complete turn off. And DONT try to cover anything up by wearing too much cologne - it usually does not work. Finally, the glasses. But "Shemeka, don't you wear glasses," you might ask. Yes, and usually glasses are not a problem for me. Noone has 20/20 these days. However, you mean to tell me that the coke bottle glasses are still around; lenses so thick I think I can see the ex-planet pluto through them? Bad Bad Bad.
Sounds like I am being very superficial. What about this guy's personality? Lascivious people. You can tell that really under all that I want to be a gentleman BS that getting into my pants is goal number one here. Can't stand that - especially can't stand it from someone who has a snowball's chance in hell of getting there. Oh it was sad, laides and gentlemen. We decided to park and watch Lost:Season One on my portable DVD player. After telling him that I am not a touchy feely person (a lie, I know), he really did not keep his hands off me the entire time we sat there. He wanted to kiss my hand and give me a massage and rub his fingers on my arm. It was enough to make me want to puke. Then he tried to feel me up! I almost cold cocked him but we were on the naval base. I tried to make sure I ended it that night but I am almost sure he is not giving up hope. However, he is uninteresting AND he doesn't think Ben Stiller/Jim Carrey are funny. He hates musicals and thinks Denzel Washington is a terrible actor. I mean, Denzel might not be my fave but I know good acting when I see it. Bottom line, disaster. Not just the date but Elijah as a member of the human race.
Blind dates are for suckers and now I know better...... and knowing is half the battle.
For now I remain,
disgustedly yours,
Shemeka
Monday, June 26, 2006
Bloggy McBlogster:-)
Hi, my name is Shemeka and I am a recovering fun addict.
(Group Responds): Hi, Shemeka.
my Saturday night with Darby....
What should I say about this night that induced massive drunkeness and laughter? Who is Darby? Why did I go there? All of your questions shall be answered.
Darby is the President of the South Hampton Roads Chapter of William and Mary Alumni, graduated '04 MBA. She lives in Virginia Beach and is married to a big bald guy named Curtis, who likes to drink and be crude ( I LOVE me some Curtis!). I went to her house to just chill and hangout because she said they would be hanging out by the pool and playing some pool and drinking. So I decided that hey I have nothing better to do with my Saturday night than to hang out with some pretty cool people and their kegerator:-).
So I arrive at said location and am introduced to a few people I don't know and see people I know - including Fred, the Demolished. Fred, who is the webmaster for our Chapter and also Darby and Curtis's ex-roommate WM Class of '04 MBA, was completely smashed by the time I walked in the door sometime around 10pm. Smashed, playing pool and really loud!
I am immediately informed by Curtis that I will have to leave his house if I don't have a drink. ***Note*** This is where the trouble starts actually becuase if you haven't been drinking on a regular basis, your stomach is close to empty and that first drop of cold sweet, sweet beer hits your tongue - you basically lose all intentions that you had to stay moderately sober in the first place. So here I am with my first beer, chatting and having a great time when Fred comes over with a second drink letting me know that I am behind - its a rum and coke - a jack sparrow rum and coke - a "where has the coke gone? mooooostly RUM!" rum and coke. So I am trying to double fist when I get recruited into a pool game. If you know me, you know I don't play pool - no good at all. I am not even going to recreate all the innuendo that was going on in this game.
After the game of pool, I wandered into the kitchen for some munchies. I am on the next rum and no-coke at this point. It is barely after midnight. Somehow Darby and I got in to a shake your jubblies contest. Don't ask! Which had Curtis calling all of the other male types into the kitchen to see. It was over by the time they got there. However, on his umpteenth drink, Fred is a quite handsy individual once he is soberless. So he leans over and tells me that he dates black women and at this point I have decided that Fred doesn't actually look too terrible. He asks to mix my next rum and coke..... doesn't matter I am already adrunkl by this point.
I am then challenged. And when I say challenged I mean that someone actually thought in their right mind (ok she was drunk) that she (and she was pigmentally challenged) could out sing me. This was not a good plan. So I belted out some Rent, Wicked, Mariah, Gloria Gaynor, and Whitney just for the fun of making her cry. Ok she didn't really cry but everyone could tell she obviously couldnt hold a candle to me which in turn got ME a slap on the but with the ping pong paddle! It hurt - guess who did it? Fred. nuff said....
At this point, five rum and no-cokes and a beer, I am decidedly smashed and ready to fall over. I lay down on the couch. It feels excellent and decide that a little nap is in order. I awaken at somewhere around four in the morning feel gross but ok enough to drive home. I stumle out into the dark night........
After college, you think your adventures and exploits will end - but "To live, to live - that would be an awfully big adventure."
(Group Responds): Hi, Shemeka.
my Saturday night with Darby....
What should I say about this night that induced massive drunkeness and laughter? Who is Darby? Why did I go there? All of your questions shall be answered.
Darby is the President of the South Hampton Roads Chapter of William and Mary Alumni, graduated '04 MBA. She lives in Virginia Beach and is married to a big bald guy named Curtis, who likes to drink and be crude ( I LOVE me some Curtis!). I went to her house to just chill and hangout because she said they would be hanging out by the pool and playing some pool and drinking. So I decided that hey I have nothing better to do with my Saturday night than to hang out with some pretty cool people and their kegerator:-).
So I arrive at said location and am introduced to a few people I don't know and see people I know - including Fred, the Demolished. Fred, who is the webmaster for our Chapter and also Darby and Curtis's ex-roommate WM Class of '04 MBA, was completely smashed by the time I walked in the door sometime around 10pm. Smashed, playing pool and really loud!
I am immediately informed by Curtis that I will have to leave his house if I don't have a drink. ***Note*** This is where the trouble starts actually becuase if you haven't been drinking on a regular basis, your stomach is close to empty and that first drop of cold sweet, sweet beer hits your tongue - you basically lose all intentions that you had to stay moderately sober in the first place. So here I am with my first beer, chatting and having a great time when Fred comes over with a second drink letting me know that I am behind - its a rum and coke - a jack sparrow rum and coke - a "where has the coke gone? mooooostly RUM!" rum and coke. So I am trying to double fist when I get recruited into a pool game. If you know me, you know I don't play pool - no good at all. I am not even going to recreate all the innuendo that was going on in this game.
After the game of pool, I wandered into the kitchen for some munchies. I am on the next rum and no-coke at this point. It is barely after midnight. Somehow Darby and I got in to a shake your jubblies contest. Don't ask! Which had Curtis calling all of the other male types into the kitchen to see. It was over by the time they got there. However, on his umpteenth drink, Fred is a quite handsy individual once he is soberless. So he leans over and tells me that he dates black women and at this point I have decided that Fred doesn't actually look too terrible. He asks to mix my next rum and coke..... doesn't matter I am already adrunkl by this point.
I am then challenged. And when I say challenged I mean that someone actually thought in their right mind (ok she was drunk) that she (and she was pigmentally challenged) could out sing me. This was not a good plan. So I belted out some Rent, Wicked, Mariah, Gloria Gaynor, and Whitney just for the fun of making her cry. Ok she didn't really cry but everyone could tell she obviously couldnt hold a candle to me which in turn got ME a slap on the but with the ping pong paddle! It hurt - guess who did it? Fred. nuff said....
At this point, five rum and no-cokes and a beer, I am decidedly smashed and ready to fall over. I lay down on the couch. It feels excellent and decide that a little nap is in order. I awaken at somewhere around four in the morning feel gross but ok enough to drive home. I stumle out into the dark night........
After college, you think your adventures and exploits will end - but "To live, to live - that would be an awfully big adventure."
Friday, June 16, 2006
Dating Disaster
Ok so originially this was going to be post whining and ranting about the incongruity of being single versus being paired and how married/coupled people no longer understand your dilemna.. esp if you are a single woman. However something much more important was brought to my attention by my best friend's blog and she should probably sue me for plagurism but its not my fault that she just puts things twice as elegantly as I can in some situations.
Speaking of which, below she talks about something that I had to recognize as truth in some respects. Especially since I was a victim of something that is a result of men's insecurities. Last night a guy told me that if we got a house together that it would be in his name because I would never be able to tell him "get out of my house." Never mind you that, if this relationship were to go anywhere, in the future, I would probably be the one making more money and I already have better credit.... what sense would it make to have a home in his name? none. I told him this but he was more concerned about who would have the control in the relationship. Men.. need I say more? Read on......
Dwindling Libido by Sexy Thought
What is up with men these days?! Has the world turned upside down? Is this the cause of current administrative reversion to pre-hippy revolution time?
A few friends and I have been making note of or experiencing a decline in men’s sexual desire. More accurately, it is men’s inability to perform when and how needed that has become more noticeable. Men have increasingly become preoccupied with other things and have begun to behave in a manner we would traditionally attribute to women.
I first started to have this experience early in college. I am the type of person that doesn’t really have sex often. And although I really like sex, I would rather not have it than to have it sparsely. So, I would rather wait for a partner that is reliable. This means that I want to wait for a guy who will give it to me, good and consistently. I don’t want anyone I have to hunt down to pleasure me, better yet pleasure me well. So, when the guy that I was dating would say that he wasn’t in the mood or do little things like that, it annoyed the hell out of me. Particularly since I am of the mindset that relationships should be fairly equal. Meaning that we should both be able to set the terms of our interaction. Neither one of us needs to feel like we are pestering the other. And most of all, we have intimate relations on both of our terms, when one or both of us want it, not simply when he wants it. I am a product of the post-sexual revolution era.
Recently, it seems that this has been occurring to me and everyone around me. We can’t seem to get it when we want it (and how hasn’t even entered the discussion). In addition, men are giving up sex for things like tv, work, or even because they are nosey about what everyone else is doing. I mean come on. Ladies, if your man wanted to have sex, would you really be like, ‘actually, I want to see if such and such is doing it first?’ I doubt it. So, these excuses, which could be totally valid just seem like bullshit because no one is expecting men to give up sex, not even for something important. And I am wondering what is behind this lost libido.
To add fuel to the fire, what is commonly known as the ‘body wars’ is occurring all over the world. Men (I say men because most heads of state and politicians and policy makers are men) are sitting together deciding what will and should happen with women’s bodies. They are deciding whether we can have abortions, whether family planning should be an option for us, whether we should be allowed to enjoy sex within marriage and whether we have the right to life if we engage in sexual activity prior to marriage. And I think their lost libido is the cause of recent moves towards conservative approaches to sex and sexuality. The truth is that men can no longer handle the heat and have reverted to religion and morality to justify their inability to handle women’s sex drives.
Honest, back during the sexual revolution, men were pro women’s sexual freedom. Do you know why? Because they thought that they would benefit from it. They thought to themselves that it would be great to have lots of loose women submitting to their every desire because they were no longer held back by men’s definitions of morality, decency, and religious devotion. But to their surprise, once women were emancipated from sexual inhibitions, they started demanding more. Now women are asking for sex on their terms, when, where and how they want it. And it has become too much for men to handle. They have become emasculated because rather than having unlimited access and will to do whatever they feel with any women, they have become exposed. Their inability to maintain healthy sexual functioning after a certain age, the decline in their libido, and their sub-par performance have all been open to questioning. And the more women question, the more they realize that they don’t have to put up with that crap. In addition, women have started to take the lead and demand certain actions.
So, now that our freedom of sexuality no longer benefits men and actually puts them under increased pressure to perform, they have decided that the old moral order is best. And now they want to put laws in place to limit our promiscuity. Now they feel that previous notions of acceptable sexuality are more in their interests than unlimited access to a bunch of demanding women. Shame on us for letting them continue to set the terms of our sexuality!
Speaking of which, below she talks about something that I had to recognize as truth in some respects. Especially since I was a victim of something that is a result of men's insecurities. Last night a guy told me that if we got a house together that it would be in his name because I would never be able to tell him "get out of my house." Never mind you that, if this relationship were to go anywhere, in the future, I would probably be the one making more money and I already have better credit.... what sense would it make to have a home in his name? none. I told him this but he was more concerned about who would have the control in the relationship. Men.. need I say more? Read on......
Dwindling Libido by Sexy Thought
What is up with men these days?! Has the world turned upside down? Is this the cause of current administrative reversion to pre-hippy revolution time?
A few friends and I have been making note of or experiencing a decline in men’s sexual desire. More accurately, it is men’s inability to perform when and how needed that has become more noticeable. Men have increasingly become preoccupied with other things and have begun to behave in a manner we would traditionally attribute to women.
I first started to have this experience early in college. I am the type of person that doesn’t really have sex often. And although I really like sex, I would rather not have it than to have it sparsely. So, I would rather wait for a partner that is reliable. This means that I want to wait for a guy who will give it to me, good and consistently. I don’t want anyone I have to hunt down to pleasure me, better yet pleasure me well. So, when the guy that I was dating would say that he wasn’t in the mood or do little things like that, it annoyed the hell out of me. Particularly since I am of the mindset that relationships should be fairly equal. Meaning that we should both be able to set the terms of our interaction. Neither one of us needs to feel like we are pestering the other. And most of all, we have intimate relations on both of our terms, when one or both of us want it, not simply when he wants it. I am a product of the post-sexual revolution era.
Recently, it seems that this has been occurring to me and everyone around me. We can’t seem to get it when we want it (and how hasn’t even entered the discussion). In addition, men are giving up sex for things like tv, work, or even because they are nosey about what everyone else is doing. I mean come on. Ladies, if your man wanted to have sex, would you really be like, ‘actually, I want to see if such and such is doing it first?’ I doubt it. So, these excuses, which could be totally valid just seem like bullshit because no one is expecting men to give up sex, not even for something important. And I am wondering what is behind this lost libido.
To add fuel to the fire, what is commonly known as the ‘body wars’ is occurring all over the world. Men (I say men because most heads of state and politicians and policy makers are men) are sitting together deciding what will and should happen with women’s bodies. They are deciding whether we can have abortions, whether family planning should be an option for us, whether we should be allowed to enjoy sex within marriage and whether we have the right to life if we engage in sexual activity prior to marriage. And I think their lost libido is the cause of recent moves towards conservative approaches to sex and sexuality. The truth is that men can no longer handle the heat and have reverted to religion and morality to justify their inability to handle women’s sex drives.
Honest, back during the sexual revolution, men were pro women’s sexual freedom. Do you know why? Because they thought that they would benefit from it. They thought to themselves that it would be great to have lots of loose women submitting to their every desire because they were no longer held back by men’s definitions of morality, decency, and religious devotion. But to their surprise, once women were emancipated from sexual inhibitions, they started demanding more. Now women are asking for sex on their terms, when, where and how they want it. And it has become too much for men to handle. They have become emasculated because rather than having unlimited access and will to do whatever they feel with any women, they have become exposed. Their inability to maintain healthy sexual functioning after a certain age, the decline in their libido, and their sub-par performance have all been open to questioning. And the more women question, the more they realize that they don’t have to put up with that crap. In addition, women have started to take the lead and demand certain actions.
So, now that our freedom of sexuality no longer benefits men and actually puts them under increased pressure to perform, they have decided that the old moral order is best. And now they want to put laws in place to limit our promiscuity. Now they feel that previous notions of acceptable sexuality are more in their interests than unlimited access to a bunch of demanding women. Shame on us for letting them continue to set the terms of our sexuality!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Working with crazy bigots
If any of you know any of my other stories about my coworkers, this little anicdote will not surprise you.
Earlier today, basically out of nowhere, (because that's how some people are) one of my coworkers decides to tell me and Diane that she and her daughter were in the car earlier on their way somewhere. First of all, who cares? but let me continue. So they saw a PFLAG sticker on someone's car. She says they then decided to make up their own acronym for PFLAG. (By the way she didnt even know what it stood for. She was like "its purple flag, right? for purple in the rainbow for gays because there are two rainbows and the one with purple in it means gay... and I was like WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU MORON?! there is only one rainbow and purple is not in it anywhere. ROY G. (mutherf*in) BIV! its violet and yea purple and violet are the SAME color - though she proceeded to try to tell me that in these "two rainbows" that they were different. By this point I was like whatever get on with your story.) So then she tells me what kind of acronym she tried to come up with.... i dont want to repeat the whole thing because its mean and then also i cant remember it all but it included A**hole raper and fudge packer....
Needless to say I had to take a few breaths before I went balistic and I just had to calm down and say, "I didn't find that in the least funny. Why is that funny to you?" and then she is like no its not funny but what better did we have to do while sitting in traffic.. well, gee, i don't know.. how about talk to you daughter about why she is turning into a promiscous ho. I mean the fact that the only thing that came to your mind is a completely bigotted and really mean slander against BLGT people is freaking pathetic. At this point, I had to walk away.
I want to tell God can you give your people a freakin clue. I mean no matter what you believe, I don't think there is every any excuse for that kind of behavior. And to foster and nurture that this kind of thinking is alright in your children is just ludicrous. Oh it was just a joke is not an excuse in any kind of way. Its like going down the street and seeing a guy who looks foreign and going "What up Arab or spick or homey?" or any really stupid offensive thing you could think of. Get the point? Its in all of our actions. God doesn't want our judgement... he wants our love and to show love to everyone of all types...seriously people, GET the point.
Earlier today, basically out of nowhere, (because that's how some people are) one of my coworkers decides to tell me and Diane that she and her daughter were in the car earlier on their way somewhere. First of all, who cares? but let me continue. So they saw a PFLAG sticker on someone's car. She says they then decided to make up their own acronym for PFLAG. (By the way she didnt even know what it stood for. She was like "its purple flag, right? for purple in the rainbow for gays because there are two rainbows and the one with purple in it means gay... and I was like WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU MORON?! there is only one rainbow and purple is not in it anywhere. ROY G. (mutherf*in) BIV! its violet and yea purple and violet are the SAME color - though she proceeded to try to tell me that in these "two rainbows" that they were different. By this point I was like whatever get on with your story.) So then she tells me what kind of acronym she tried to come up with.... i dont want to repeat the whole thing because its mean and then also i cant remember it all but it included A**hole raper and fudge packer....
Needless to say I had to take a few breaths before I went balistic and I just had to calm down and say, "I didn't find that in the least funny. Why is that funny to you?" and then she is like no its not funny but what better did we have to do while sitting in traffic.. well, gee, i don't know.. how about talk to you daughter about why she is turning into a promiscous ho. I mean the fact that the only thing that came to your mind is a completely bigotted and really mean slander against BLGT people is freaking pathetic. At this point, I had to walk away.
I want to tell God can you give your people a freakin clue. I mean no matter what you believe, I don't think there is every any excuse for that kind of behavior. And to foster and nurture that this kind of thinking is alright in your children is just ludicrous. Oh it was just a joke is not an excuse in any kind of way. Its like going down the street and seeing a guy who looks foreign and going "What up Arab or spick or homey?" or any really stupid offensive thing you could think of. Get the point? Its in all of our actions. God doesn't want our judgement... he wants our love and to show love to everyone of all types...seriously people, GET the point.
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