It's Not You, It's Me.....

"It's not You, babe. It's Me. No, really....."

Words said when you are trying to let someone down easy. You know, take the blame for the relationship going south. But as I listened to my sister breakup with her boyfriend last night and contemplate my own "relationship" demise, I think of how I might have said these words OR worse yet, have them said to me as in, "Well it's not me breaking up with you, it's your choice," from the sig. other. This is their way of making you feel guilty, like you are a quitter in the relationship and just couldn't handle it.

Well guess what mofos! ITS NOT US - ITS YOU!!!!
and guess what else - IT IS MY CHOICE AND GUESS WHAT I DON'T CHOOSE - YOU!!!

Relationships are hard. That is the bottom line people. Seriously. You can't be in a relationship without giving something up. You just have to decide what that is. If it's something you just can't possibly live without, either you need to reexamine your priorties or it's time to say, "Adios, this has run its course." I am so tired of people hanging on to relationships for the sake of having a relationship. I am a massive victim of this for the past year. I mean I would rather be involved than uninvolved - just another thing to do rather than be bored. Isn't that pathetic? I need to take up a hobby if I am that apathetic about my relationship.

The problem isn't that I don't like the guy. He's sweet to a certan extent but when I fear bringing him around the people I love the most there is obviously a severe problem here. I am severely tired of feeling like as a woman I should be treated as someone who can be undervalued just because there is a severe shortage of good men out there. I am also tired of being told that I am unapproachable because I am smart, well educated, speak my mind, don't talk like a "nigga," "affluent," and expect my man to be the same. When did it become I have to lower my standards? There are somethings you just don't want out of a man, let alone can not reconcile yourself to deal with for the rest of your life so why try? But yet here I am in this relationship striving to make it work because "Essence,""Sister," and "Jet" magazines are all telling me not to count out the thug brother. And they are right but untimately, me and this male are uncompatible. While he wants to kick on the streets and hang out in the damn club - I want to go see Lion King on Broadway - you see how we could run into some severe issues here?

And men, I know it isn't all your fault. Some women are doing some piss poor jobs of raising good men these days. And men I also know we women ain't got all our s*it together either. Too many women willing to settle and won't make men work for it. Too many women not acting right when they have a good men turning the man all jaded and messed up for the rest of us. Too many women, of all races mind you, thinking its ok to take marriage lightly and be stepping out or letting themselves be stepped on... this stuff has got to stop! If I read one more article about how there is no hope for successful women or see one more picture where black women of power are listed and all of these women have Ms. by there name... I am gonna frickin flip! I would give up but I am true woman and realize that I need a man - not to complete me mind you - but as a companion and that is the way it should be, cooperate and communicate. Men stop hurting women and WOMEN stop hurting you men. When it comes down to it, I guess I want an ideal that obviously doesn't exist and I don't want to be the one to be on the outside looking in. However, as for as current situations and relationships go.... really, hey, guess what, it really isn't me - ITS YOU!