Sides of Being a Woman

Mommies and Wives......

Those are words I am tired of hearing. No seriously. At my age, you can either dread them or embrace them. Right now, I am in the throes of dread. Dread because when, if ever, are either of these two going to be attainable? Dread because if it does happen, why do so many women stop being women and become So & so's Mom or Whatchamcallit's Wife? Dread because will it happen the wrong way - will I become pregnant and then some time down the road get married?

What brought all this on? Well three things really and in no particular order, the women at my job, an email from a friend, and a friend's haircut. My friend got a haircut and it looks fabulous. I really love it. I thought,"Thank God! She finally looks like *Susan and not just *Bobby's mother." And it's not that she doesn't dress age appropriate really or her hair before was bad at all. It's just that I was getting tired of her whole life being center around her kid. But IT IS HER LIFE. That's not her fault by any means but hey, we are the same age. I'd like to think we are the same kind of people - not totally but on basic levels. However, there has got to be more to life than your child and husband. I mean I never understood this about my mom until now but when we were little though my mom took care of us and we were much better raised than some of the kids now, she was rarely home. We were rarely home. She had a busy engaging life with her friends. I used to think we were a little neglected and maybe we were but if I had to choose my mom's way or my friend's way, I'd choose not to lose who I am in the reality of being a Mom or Wife. I want my friend to know that I value her and her opinons and I like the way she lives her life. It's for her. But the old saying is right. Its hard for single, and I would add unencumbered people, to hang out with married people. We sometimes just don't mesh well together. I want to enjoy being young and this time in my life - even though I am not, I am glad I am not bogged down with that other stuff so I have the option.

Can there be more to be a woman than just the end goal of being a wife or a mother? Do I challenge and push myself enough to make my other goals occur? Traditionally, society would push us to chose between the two but I would hope that there is a way to be both. The woman I am growing into and always have been AND adding on the woman I will be when I become a wife and/or mother. We don't have to be scared that we are going to totally lose ourselves or the things we have worked so hard to come through as a woman, the obstacles we have faced and beaten do not have to be traded in for aprons. We are more than what we appear and there are so many sides to being a woman, to being a human being.

We, along with our male counterparts, need to recognize that we can be mothers and wives and so much more....