Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Coworkers

This a post from a previous blog that deserves to be repeated. Look out for a part two soon.

Check the title.


Yea this blog is about those people who are supposed to be those whom with which you SHARE work. That is probably the crux of some of everybody's problems with their "coworkers." When you are on the job and there are those few people who are actually dedicated to doing the least amount of work possible, you start to have a problem with these "co-workers." However, that is not the main issue of my blog. It is to discuss, without using names, of course, the many, many, many, scary and sometimes just not right idiosyncrisies of the ladies I work with. Lately I have come to the point that unless I go ahead and do a little venting about their madness I will be lost forever in an abyss of anger over their craziness.

Let us start with the most flummoxing case of all. There is a woman I work with who is a nice lady on the surface. I mean and she could be pretty not for the hideously garage sale/express look she tries to throw together with a sixties/seventies/i didnt feel like doing my hair today idea that completely fails miserably. This person also happens to wear the most hideously strong cheap parfum. It could smell good, no matter the cheapness because most of it is from avon, if she didnt take a shower in it before coming into work causing my olfactory senses to make my eyes tear up and me to sneeze when i enter her presence at 8:07am because she never - not ever - gets to work on time. You would think someone of this caliber would obviously stop there but oh no, the weirdness continues. The lady has a shrine to her unborn on her desk - a freakin shrine people. If that is not creepy, I really don't know what is. She keeps rocks and things and plants and stuff around her desk, and freaks if someone sits on her "chair pillow." Her headphones stay blasting at all times. But what must be the freakiest thing of all, the weird thing that takes the cake is what I call the "Bathroom Ritual." When this lady enters the restroom, you know it, if you are already in a stall. You will promptly hear - "ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" "sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" "ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" for what appears to be like five minutes as she sprays her stall with lysol. You can then hear her exit the stall to get a set cover after which you will hear "sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" as she continues to, without any regard for my nose, empty the lysol can. She uses the bathroom after which there is again the insistant hiss of the lysol can. She washes her hands for at least three minutes. And then finally exits the bathroom where I swear she goes back to her desk and uses anti-bacterial. This lady always swears the community fridge for everyones lunches has a smell and needs to be cleaned and is usually the evil wench to throw away your lunch because your name wasn't written big enough on it. And if that's not enough she happens to also be overly opinonated without knowing how to state her facts without offending you. Enough of her freakish ways! As Foamy would say, "She should just build a bomb out an old lysol can and just blow up her house and die - just die."

NEXT!
Let's talk about another coworker. Sweet, sweet lady with a great laugh but also - ANNOYING AS HELL. Is it possible for me to do my job without every five minutes being checked up on or told how to do something or having my imput to a situation ignored. I swear it seems like with her I will be in training at this job FOREVER. If she sees me doing something that I shouldn't be doing she comes close, too close in fact for personal space on the job rules, and whispers,"Sherry (a supervisor, name changed to protect the innocent) saw you." To which I wish I could respond I know and I don't care cuz everyone else does it. And she does it so conspiratorily like I am supposed to appreciate that she is letting me know without saying it to the whole room. Get this I DONT CARE! She also used to manage to completely screw up my time card no matter what i did to get her to fix it. Obviously I had to flip out one good time to get her to think I mean business.

A double dose of madness...now these two are my only really young coworkers. They are both actually really nice and sometimes cool but can turn supremely evil. Sometimes they are like the whiniest people on the face of this planet, not seriously, but i can exaggerate a little. I mean even though they are nice and even cool, they both have really small idiosyncrisies that they want everyone to deal with but if they have to deal with something of someone else's it is a really big deal. Like for example, a recent conversation,"UGH!! Who moved my time card?! I always put it in slot three and someone is always moving it. Jesus I have been doing it since I started here can't people just leave stuff alone." "Oh yea I know. That sucks.' Ten seconds later at the fridge upon coming across a note asking someone to return the soda that was taken that belonged to another coworker, "Oh my god, its like just a coke - cant she get over it?" "I know its like 50 cent." To which my response would have been, "Like OMG its just a f*ckin time card. And it doesnt cost anything or inconvenience you to clock out from spot four. Jesus." LoL I mean its really sad sometimes. Just deal with things people ... just deal with it.

Pet Peeves Lady. Ok so everything bothers this lady. She doesnt want anyone touching anything on her desk. She cant stand it when the water bottle thing is empty and she won't replace it cuz her back is messed up. She has a freakish obsession with a little bug. Doesn't really want anyone to borrow anything but has like straws, salt, pepper, bandaids, safety pins, en masse just so you have to ask her for it. Did I mention this person is also the parking lot monitor. Makes alot of sense huh? lol

I mean I could go on and on really but I am sure that there needs to be another installment of this at a later date so for now I am done being very very evil about the people with whom i supposedly work.