White Woman Raising A Black Man

First off, it isn't possible. Ok anything is possible, but with our modern day perception of white women and black men, you know its true. While I hate to make sweeping generalizations - what does raising a black man mean really? Because no matter how you raise the child, if there is one drop, then you will always be "raising a black man."

I guess they mean culturally. Will they be raising their sons to be strong black men culturally? The funny part of this is where are the cultural examples of "GOOD", strong, black men? I mean to raise a black man could be to, pardon my language, raise some little nigga for the streets. Does it mean to make sure they understand culturally the struggle, the plight of the black man? I can't even talk in any kind of order because I have so many thoughts going on here. The "GOOD" examples of black men are called sell outs and uncle toms anyway. Equal to their successful women counterparts they are told they are trying to "act white" by getting a good education, especially if its a college education and its not at a historically black college.

So where does this leave our brothers? Where does it leave the mothers, the ones of other races who worry that they child will have a confused identity? My friend, Sexy Thought, blogs about what is your primary identity? What does a person consider their primary make up? In the case of these women trying to raise a black child, is it that they want their children to recognize themselves as or connect themselves first to their racial identity? That is how important it is. You can't go through life being ambiguous especially with dark skin. You are already to someone who looks at your perhaps black, then male, then Christian, then a college graduate or whatever. Unfortunately, it's harder for it to happen "oh shes a female, Christian, graduate, poet who happens to be black. It is the marker. It is the identity.

These women are having a hard time in their opinion "raising a black man," because they don't identify themselves with this identity. Being black is not one of their primary traits. And that is more important than being a male of female because I would venture to say that for a black woman it is far easier, at least culturally, to raise a black man where his primary identity is that of a black man. But don't give up women of other races. Most importantly, you are trying to raise a good man - and that, in any race, is still damn hard to find.

the Biological Clock

Tic.





Toc.



Tic.


Toc.

Tic.
Toc.
tic,toc, tic, toc, tic toc tictoctictoctictoc........

You get the picture. Recently my friend wrote a blog about her biological clock ticking and it got me to thinking. Yeah, it's that age. And yeah here we are ladies, sitting at a time in our lives where some of our parents (well at least mine) were well into parenthood. The natural progression of things and the circle of life continues to move forward.

However, times have changed. We've changed. While motherhood is welcomed for many of us - it's still put off. We want a freedom to be the woman we are before we have to change into our mothers. Its just how it is now. I have friends who were very, very excited about marriage and babies and the whole bit but now that they are married, I hear things for them like I need to do this before I get pregnant or me and my husband are waiting we are really not ready or I am bored and wish I had some other direction in life. So basically, how better off are they than I? They are just as confused and with another person in tow, that can't be any less complicated. I pray to God as my friend does that I will be sensible, that He will protect and direct me until some of the confusion and disorientation with just being a woman of now dies away. I pray that He will keep me until He reveals what He wants me to do. I let him know that I am repentant for my bad actions but hopefully he will protect me from some of the consequences such a pregnancy.

My friend and I discussed this. We have reached a point that adoption is a less than 1% option. Although the clock is ticking, we do want time to do it the right way. Because it will still be a long while before the clock stops - or at least I hope so.

Crashing Pimps

So I have spent almost a week now listening to the back lash about the Oscars, in particular the Best Picture upset and Three 6 Mafia's win for Best Original Song. First and foremost, I must say that I have not had a chance to see all the best picture nominees so I can't make a complete judgement - however, the fact that people were sooooooo very, very put out by the fact that Crash won only lends itself to the importance of the film's win.

I hear my people complaining. I hear them complaining. I hear them saying - why they got to win for that song? Why Halle win the Oscar for being a ho? Why Denzel got to be a crooked cop before he win the Oscar? Sometimes I agree. I have seen Denzel amaze me with his acting skills so many times in films that it might just not be right that instead of winning for playing a father with nowhere to turn for his sick son in John Q, the academy awards him for playing a dirty, dishonest street cop from the wrong side of the tracks in Training Day. However, there are more to the Academy Awards than meets the eye. Sometimes its just time for that person to win. It's time for them to be recognized - and in life - not in memoriam or that lame end of your life award (sorry we never gave it to you but here it is - lame). Sometimes everything has to add up to a win. Three 6 won that award for its orginality - its reference to the movie. They aren't glorifying being a pimp as they said - it went along with a work of fiction and won for it symmetry to what was being portrayed on film.

So why are we complaining? What's going my people? What's going my fellow races? Are we so indifferent to racism that a film that portrays it real - that pulls it out of the dirty grubby little hand we as Americans peek in at then hide behind our backs - that tries to throw open the door and lets us know its not gone, its not finished cannot win an Oscar for Best Picture. Are we trying to be too sensitive, too politically correct when we say that Brokeback should have won? It was a love store - beautiful and painful. Does it get to win just because it was between two men? I will lend my voice to what I think of the other films when I see them and I am sure that Capote, Munich and Good Night and Good Luck will all show me that they were all of critical acclaim and good films but will they show me that they were better than Crash? We'll have to keep watching to find out.