Wrap Up

OK so I have been trying to be on the good tip lately - praise HIM that he has been keeping me from falling off and hopefully helping me to move closer to him - BUT I am putting myself on front street again. So I emailed/texted an ex-whatever and told him what was up and how I was feeling. He clearly wanted to handle my problem lickety split. But here's where it gets ridiculous. Are you trying to tell me that I gotta provide the condoms now? are we serious?! this MF had the nerve to come up with some lame excuse as to why he can't stop by the store and pick the rubbers up and we all know its not going down without any protection.

But is this the level of shdayness men have come to - and really by shady I mean lazy as hell - shit I was given the goods away for a change, not even going to make you do any real work for it and you couldn't come up with like four dollars to get the latex. Pissed me the hell off and killed the damn mood. The reasons why I only let you hit it once and the reasons I have refused your subsequent advances have come back to me - you ain't about ish, even in the bedroom and that's a damn shame.

a little addicted

so right now - I am putting myself on front street - not that it matters cuz I don't think anyone but cyber space will see this. I have destructive tendencies and behaviors - when I hit rock bottom - when I feel really down, what do I really want very deep down? I want sex - mind numbing, ridiculous, delicious sex and to just check out in a fantasy for a little while. just something to take the edge off - destress a little bit, makes me feel good. doesn't that sound like a drug to you... sounds like one to me... but it would be so good to just lose myself in someone arms just for a little while..... and the alone time is not going to cut it - i need that skin to skin, touching contact of being consumed by someone else.... ahhhhh so good.... well unless you know any takers i guess its back to studying.