Hi God, It's Me, Shemeka

Did you ever read that book, Are you there God, It's Me Margaret? It's about a young girl named Margaret who has to move from the city to the suburbs and is going into sixth grade. Sixth grade is a hard grade and she has to make new friends. Throughout the story, Margaret talks to God. She tells him her innermost thoughts, wishes and desires. Her relationhip with Him is up close and personal. He is her very best friend.

I am talking to God.

Its been awhile but it feels good. I talk to him on a normal basis now, about my deicisions, my indecisiveness, my future, my past, my friends and family. Its cool. I think we forget how good it feels to have someone there at all times. I mean I am discovering what a sense of peace and ease I feel about life because I trust him to help me along the way. Of course, I still feel anxiety - I'm human. But whenever, I do its easier to turn to him and ask guidance and just let go. Asking God for peace is the most helpful thing I have ever done. I never felt more at ease with my life than I do right now.

If you are a believer, why do we doubt him? I guess because its in our very nature to be afraid because we are the ones who messed up in the first place. We messed up perfection. I believe as humans we are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We are just waiting for God to be like, you never deserved this anyway and I am taking it all away. That is probably the most scary thing I have ever thought. Because I'm a believer. I know that I am never, ever going to be worthy of the love that Christ has shown me and no matter how I try I cannot never repay the debt that I owe. And we feel guilty when we mess up because he loves and blesses us anyway. And sometimes its not that we aren't trying but we know we could be doing better.

While, as my mother says,"I still ain't got it right," I know God is working with me. I know He is showing himself to me. The proof is in the post. How long has it taken me to reach a point where I can openly talk about my faith? I can be a fisher of men, just like he wants. He shows me miracles of people who were non-believers telling me that they are now Christians. And He blesses me - even though I don't deserve it. There are a million things that could be happening in my life right now. There are a million ways that I am determined to screw it up but God keeps it all on track in his timing. And even when bad things come, I have prayed for peace and He has calmed my spirit. I feel lucky.

I know some of you are thinking,"Shemeka, please don't get too deep on us." And to that I say, in the words of Ray Charles,"Oh, you give your hand to me, and then you say goodbye, and I watch you walk away, beside the lucky guy, oh but you will never, never know, the one who loves you so, oh you dont know me."

What is history?

I just can't believe the things you can learn during one month of paying attention to facts that are so often overlooked. February is Black History Month and those people who say that they don't need it or want it are sadly naive. Sure in an idealistic society we would learn about great accomplishments from all races all year long but in the world we live in now, we CANNOT give up the month in which at least our african american achievements are acknowledged and celebrated.

So I learned a few things from a couple of different sources. Did you know that a black man invented the filament for the light bulb? Althougt we credit Thomas Edison his light bulb would not have worked at all if it was not for the filament to keep the electirc curretn under control. What about air conditioning and the clothes dryer? Some things we probably could not live without. Its just hard to believe that you never knew who was behind these things. Even the cell phone was black invention!! I am always impressed with our people and I am so happy that I can always include intellegiently as well.

Why don't we learn about these things? They are important not just for our self-esteem and empowerment as a people but also because teaching importance of all people, all year would help with our culture's ability to live in a more tolerant, less bigoted society. I want to become a teacher just so that I can show people these things; So I can change the way children think. If that's not a lofty and worthy goal I don't know what is. Can we keep our fingers crossed? Can we pray that things will get better? Well I hope for the best and work to change the future.

another quiz - a weird one

You would be an Immortal. Basicly someone who
cannot be killed by weapons or average magic
and wont die of age or illness. But can only
be killed by not feeding on a pure soul every
full moon or by someone why extra ordinary
magic. Immortals are very independent and
like to be on their own. They have great
powers over magic and can see into the
future. They use their powers and advantage
of immortality to help those who need it.

What would you be in a fantasy world? Girlys only! (anime pics)
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My Color (not skin people)

Reds are motivated by POWER, seek productivity, and
need to look good to others. Simply stated,
REDS want their own way. They like to be in
the drivers seat and willingly pay the price
to be in a leadership role. REDS value
whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it
be at work, school, or in their personal
relationships. What REDS value, they get
done. They are often workaholics. They will,
however, resist being forced to do anything
that doesnt interest them.
Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave
approval from others for their intelligence
and insight. They want to be respected even
more than they want to be loved. They want to
be admired for their logical, practical
minds. REDS are confident, proactive,
visionary, and can be arrogant, selfish, and
insensitive. When you deal with a RED, be
precise, factual, and direct.

What Color Are You?
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although this was about my personality - a black history month post is coming soon