Shemeka of the Caribbean

I never did write about my fabulous trip to the Bahamas. Needless to say it was lovely and I cannot wait tor return. I am thankful for the friends that I went with. I am blessed by the spiritual lessons I learned. I was invigorated by the peaceful rest and relaxation in and on the water.

We set sail from Florida and I was so tempted to head towards Disney. In fact, we were docked beside the Disney Wonder at some point. We sailed the beautiful Caribbean waters and made port in Nassau, Bahamas. We spent a day exploring the island, went to the beautiful beach and even discoved the lost world of Atlantis.

All in all, if you want to hear more, ask me. However, I do recommend to everyone a cruise. In fact, I hope to go on another cruise in 2007.

For now I remain, Caribbeanly yours:-)

Shemeka

Blind Date Doom

An American Folly of Ultimate Proportions
One of the worst things created since the dawn of man

If anyone else can thing of a name for a blind date, please let me know.
Blind dates are for desperate people you might say. You might say, "Shemeka, darling, how did you end up here?" Let's not worry about the particulars, other than to say that I am NOT desperate and it was just a let's see how this thing goes kind of adventure.

The guy:
A friend of a friend's boyfriend who saw my picture on said friend's myspace when looking at said friend's boyfriend's myspace. Follow me so far? Name? Elijah. Occupation? Boat Boy(in the Navy).

The hook-up:
Met one night after bowling practice.

Sounds innocent and harmless enough, you say? What I also thought. We are both WRONG. Problems? His looks. Think back to middle school where it seemed every guy needed severe help in the looks department. Seems if Elijah never left this stage. First things first - teeth. If you know me, you know I have a thing about teeth. The boy needs braces. Immediately. You'd think with all those benefits you get in the Navy that someone would have informed him by now that getting his teeth fixed would be beneficial to his attempts to pick up women. Apparently not. Secondly, the "slighty sweaty as if I am always nervous and a little creepy" thing was a complete turn off. And DONT try to cover anything up by wearing too much cologne - it usually does not work. Finally, the glasses. But "Shemeka, don't you wear glasses," you might ask. Yes, and usually glasses are not a problem for me. Noone has 20/20 these days. However, you mean to tell me that the coke bottle glasses are still around; lenses so thick I think I can see the ex-planet pluto through them? Bad Bad Bad.

Sounds like I am being very superficial. What about this guy's personality? Lascivious people. You can tell that really under all that I want to be a gentleman BS that getting into my pants is goal number one here. Can't stand that - especially can't stand it from someone who has a snowball's chance in hell of getting there. Oh it was sad, laides and gentlemen. We decided to park and watch Lost:Season One on my portable DVD player. After telling him that I am not a touchy feely person (a lie, I know), he really did not keep his hands off me the entire time we sat there. He wanted to kiss my hand and give me a massage and rub his fingers on my arm. It was enough to make me want to puke. Then he tried to feel me up! I almost cold cocked him but we were on the naval base. I tried to make sure I ended it that night but I am almost sure he is not giving up hope. However, he is uninteresting AND he doesn't think Ben Stiller/Jim Carrey are funny. He hates musicals and thinks Denzel Washington is a terrible actor. I mean, Denzel might not be my fave but I know good acting when I see it. Bottom line, disaster. Not just the date but Elijah as a member of the human race.

Blind dates are for suckers and now I know better...... and knowing is half the battle.
For now I remain,
disgustedly yours,
Shemeka

Bloggy McBlogster:-)

Hi, my name is Shemeka and I am a recovering fun addict.

(Group Responds): Hi, Shemeka.

my Saturday night with Darby....
What should I say about this night that induced massive drunkeness and laughter? Who is Darby? Why did I go there? All of your questions shall be answered.

Darby is the President of the South Hampton Roads Chapter of William and Mary Alumni, graduated '04 MBA. She lives in Virginia Beach and is married to a big bald guy named Curtis, who likes to drink and be crude ( I LOVE me some Curtis!). I went to her house to just chill and hangout because she said they would be hanging out by the pool and playing some pool and drinking. So I decided that hey I have nothing better to do with my Saturday night than to hang out with some pretty cool people and their kegerator:-).

So I arrive at said location and am introduced to a few people I don't know and see people I know - including Fred, the Demolished. Fred, who is the webmaster for our Chapter and also Darby and Curtis's ex-roommate WM Class of '04 MBA, was completely smashed by the time I walked in the door sometime around 10pm. Smashed, playing pool and really loud!

I am immediately informed by Curtis that I will have to leave his house if I don't have a drink. ***Note*** This is where the trouble starts actually becuase if you haven't been drinking on a regular basis, your stomach is close to empty and that first drop of cold sweet, sweet beer hits your tongue - you basically lose all intentions that you had to stay moderately sober in the first place. So here I am with my first beer, chatting and having a great time when Fred comes over with a second drink letting me know that I am behind - its a rum and coke - a jack sparrow rum and coke - a "where has the coke gone? mooooostly RUM!" rum and coke. So I am trying to double fist when I get recruited into a pool game. If you know me, you know I don't play pool - no good at all. I am not even going to recreate all the innuendo that was going on in this game.

After the game of pool, I wandered into the kitchen for some munchies. I am on the next rum and no-coke at this point. It is barely after midnight. Somehow Darby and I got in to a shake your jubblies contest. Don't ask! Which had Curtis calling all of the other male types into the kitchen to see. It was over by the time they got there. However, on his umpteenth drink, Fred is a quite handsy individual once he is soberless. So he leans over and tells me that he dates black women and at this point I have decided that Fred doesn't actually look too terrible. He asks to mix my next rum and coke..... doesn't matter I am already adrunkl by this point.

I am then challenged. And when I say challenged I mean that someone actually thought in their right mind (ok she was drunk) that she (and she was pigmentally challenged) could out sing me. This was not a good plan. So I belted out some Rent, Wicked, Mariah, Gloria Gaynor, and Whitney just for the fun of making her cry. Ok she didn't really cry but everyone could tell she obviously couldnt hold a candle to me which in turn got ME a slap on the but with the ping pong paddle! It hurt - guess who did it? Fred. nuff said....

At this point, five rum and no-cokes and a beer, I am decidedly smashed and ready to fall over. I lay down on the couch. It feels excellent and decide that a little nap is in order. I awaken at somewhere around four in the morning feel gross but ok enough to drive home. I stumle out into the dark night........

After college, you think your adventures and exploits will end - but "To live, to live - that would be an awfully big adventure."

Dating Disaster

Ok so originially this was going to be post whining and ranting about the incongruity of being single versus being paired and how married/coupled people no longer understand your dilemna.. esp if you are a single woman. However something much more important was brought to my attention by my best friend's blog and she should probably sue me for plagurism but its not my fault that she just puts things twice as elegantly as I can in some situations.

Speaking of which, below she talks about something that I had to recognize as truth in some respects. Especially since I was a victim of something that is a result of men's insecurities. Last night a guy told me that if we got a house together that it would be in his name because I would never be able to tell him "get out of my house." Never mind you that, if this relationship were to go anywhere, in the future, I would probably be the one making more money and I already have better credit.... what sense would it make to have a home in his name? none. I told him this but he was more concerned about who would have the control in the relationship. Men.. need I say more? Read on......


Dwindling Libido by Sexy Thought

What is up with men these days?! Has the world turned upside down? Is this the cause of current administrative reversion to pre-hippy revolution time?

A few friends and I have been making note of or experiencing a decline in men’s sexual desire. More accurately, it is men’s inability to perform when and how needed that has become more noticeable. Men have increasingly become preoccupied with other things and have begun to behave in a manner we would traditionally attribute to women.

I first started to have this experience early in college. I am the type of person that doesn’t really have sex often. And although I really like sex, I would rather not have it than to have it sparsely. So, I would rather wait for a partner that is reliable. This means that I want to wait for a guy who will give it to me, good and consistently. I don’t want anyone I have to hunt down to pleasure me, better yet pleasure me well. So, when the guy that I was dating would say that he wasn’t in the mood or do little things like that, it annoyed the hell out of me. Particularly since I am of the mindset that relationships should be fairly equal. Meaning that we should both be able to set the terms of our interaction. Neither one of us needs to feel like we are pestering the other. And most of all, we have intimate relations on both of our terms, when one or both of us want it, not simply when he wants it. I am a product of the post-sexual revolution era.

Recently, it seems that this has been occurring to me and everyone around me. We can’t seem to get it when we want it (and how hasn’t even entered the discussion). In addition, men are giving up sex for things like tv, work, or even because they are nosey about what everyone else is doing. I mean come on. Ladies, if your man wanted to have sex, would you really be like, ‘actually, I want to see if such and such is doing it first?’ I doubt it. So, these excuses, which could be totally valid just seem like bullshit because no one is expecting men to give up sex, not even for something important. And I am wondering what is behind this lost libido.

To add fuel to the fire, what is commonly known as the ‘body wars’ is occurring all over the world. Men (I say men because most heads of state and politicians and policy makers are men) are sitting together deciding what will and should happen with women’s bodies. They are deciding whether we can have abortions, whether family planning should be an option for us, whether we should be allowed to enjoy sex within marriage and whether we have the right to life if we engage in sexual activity prior to marriage. And I think their lost libido is the cause of recent moves towards conservative approaches to sex and sexuality. The truth is that men can no longer handle the heat and have reverted to religion and morality to justify their inability to handle women’s sex drives.

Honest, back during the sexual revolution, men were pro women’s sexual freedom. Do you know why? Because they thought that they would benefit from it. They thought to themselves that it would be great to have lots of loose women submitting to their every desire because they were no longer held back by men’s definitions of morality, decency, and religious devotion. But to their surprise, once women were emancipated from sexual inhibitions, they started demanding more. Now women are asking for sex on their terms, when, where and how they want it. And it has become too much for men to handle. They have become emasculated because rather than having unlimited access and will to do whatever they feel with any women, they have become exposed. Their inability to maintain healthy sexual functioning after a certain age, the decline in their libido, and their sub-par performance have all been open to questioning. And the more women question, the more they realize that they don’t have to put up with that crap. In addition, women have started to take the lead and demand certain actions.

So, now that our freedom of sexuality no longer benefits men and actually puts them under increased pressure to perform, they have decided that the old moral order is best. And now they want to put laws in place to limit our promiscuity. Now they feel that previous notions of acceptable sexuality are more in their interests than unlimited access to a bunch of demanding women. Shame on us for letting them continue to set the terms of our sexuality!

Working with crazy bigots

If any of you know any of my other stories about my coworkers, this little anicdote will not surprise you.

Earlier today, basically out of nowhere, (because that's how some people are) one of my coworkers decides to tell me and Diane that she and her daughter were in the car earlier on their way somewhere. First of all, who cares? but let me continue. So they saw a PFLAG sticker on someone's car. She says they then decided to make up their own acronym for PFLAG. (By the way she didnt even know what it stood for. She was like "its purple flag, right? for purple in the rainbow for gays because there are two rainbows and the one with purple in it means gay... and I was like WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU MORON?! there is only one rainbow and purple is not in it anywhere. ROY G. (mutherf*in) BIV! its violet and yea purple and violet are the SAME color - though she proceeded to try to tell me that in these "two rainbows" that they were different. By this point I was like whatever get on with your story.) So then she tells me what kind of acronym she tried to come up with.... i dont want to repeat the whole thing because its mean and then also i cant remember it all but it included A**hole raper and fudge packer....
Needless to say I had to take a few breaths before I went balistic and I just had to calm down and say, "I didn't find that in the least funny. Why is that funny to you?" and then she is like no its not funny but what better did we have to do while sitting in traffic.. well, gee, i don't know.. how about talk to you daughter about why she is turning into a promiscous ho. I mean the fact that the only thing that came to your mind is a completely bigotted and really mean slander against BLGT people is freaking pathetic. At this point, I had to walk away.

I want to tell God can you give your people a freakin clue. I mean no matter what you believe, I don't think there is every any excuse for that kind of behavior. And to foster and nurture that this kind of thinking is alright in your children is just ludicrous. Oh it was just a joke is not an excuse in any kind of way. Its like going down the street and seeing a guy who looks foreign and going "What up Arab or spick or homey?" or any really stupid offensive thing you could think of. Get the point? Its in all of our actions. God doesn't want our judgement... he wants our love and to show love to everyone of all types...seriously people, GET the point.

A feminist?

My best friend posted this awhile back and I just got around to reading the whole thing. I will admit its a little lenghty - not Henry James or anything, but to get the point it takes a careful perusal. However, its a great article and more hopeful than the ones I have been reading but then again she ends up wth someone at the end doesn't she - no wonder she's so optimistic.....


May 21, 2006
Modern LoveChanging My Feminist Mind, One Man at a Time
By J. COURTNEY SULLIVAN

For the past decade, I have struggled with two competing images of theopposite sex: oppressor, and dream date.As a girl, I was in love with the idea of love — love poems, letters,stories, songs, even Courtney Love, for what seemed to me her well-worn heartache. Boys themselves, with their fake guns and dirty knees, didn'tinterest me much. But as they were my ticket to romance, I adored them more or less as a practical matter.

In high school, during marathon phone conversations, cheap pizza dinnersand long suburban car rides, I began to fall for boys because of whothey actually were, or at least who I thought they might become. I still loved Love, but now the love began to stretch to real people.

And this is where things got complicated, because around the same time,with my working mother as a role model and an influential teacher as myguide, I started to identify as a feminist. I read, re-read, andunderlined "Backlash," "The Beauty Myth" and "The Feminine Mystique." I grew enraged by what I learned. Enraged, and utterly confused. Who was keeping women down? Men. But who were just so cute that I couldn't sleep at night for thinking and writing and obsessing about them? You guessed it, the self-same.

Then I went off to an all-women's college, Smith, where I didn't see awhole lot of men. I joined the campus women's group and studied up on gender issues. My rage toward men in general grew ever stronger, as did my desire to meet that one specific man who could make my dreams come true.

I had fantasies of moving into a city apartment after graduation with some blurry-faced guy, my partner. We'd cook dinner together, read thepaper in bed. Later, we would shield our children from sex-stereotypedtoys and take turns driving to rid them of the notion that Dad is alwaysthe captain. There would be true equality in our home, and there wouldalso be candlelight and Ella Fitzgerald records and adorable baby shoes in the hall closet.

BUT when I graduated and moved to Manhattan three years ago, none of themen I met were up for my proposed life of egalitarian bliss. In fact,most of the young people around me—male and female—seemed to think offeminism as a quaint and unnecessary practice from days of old, notunlike churning butter. I remembered then what one wise women's studiesprofessor at Smith had said about feminism: "None of this means anythingunless we can get men on board. That's not achieved by marches ormovements, but by one individual changing another individual for thebetter."

I wanted to get men on board — or one man, at the very least — but Iseemed unable to find an audience for a simple discussion beginning with the words "I am a feminist and here's why."

Friends wondered why I couldn't leave my politics at the door and justgo on a date for goodness sake. My uncles joked that perhaps I'd be happy if I could find a nice Irish girl to settle down with.

All of my relationships, or lack thereof, began to take the same shape.I would meet a man, and our first date would consist of that lovelyunraveling of mundane details. Then would come the second date. With ourvital stats out of the way, we'd begin to discuss other, seeminglybenign, topics. But somehow, every road led to sexism. A comparison of our favorite movies turned into me complaining about Quentin Tarantino's senseless misogyny. Perusal of the dessert menu somehow ignited ascreaming match about women's socially imposed body-image issues.

Often there was no warning. One minute we would be talking baseball, andthe next we'd be embroiled in a standoff about pornography, which wouldend with me refusing to return his calls and express mailing him a copyof Catharine MacKinnon's "Only Words" without a note.

Soon I began to recognize a familiar look on the faces of the men I wentout with, the physical incarnation of Check, please. I knew that I couldbe too harsh, too quick to judge and probably guilty of the very sexismI railed against. But I couldn't back down.

I couldn't because the stakes are too high, and the large-scale issuesof sexual inequality remain: Women still don't make equal money forequal work; we are still the victims of rape and domestic violence; we are, for the most part, still solely responsible for child-rearing andcooking and cleaning, no matter what our career choices.

But the smaller, more personal issues are perhaps even more divisive,more threatening, at least when it comes to romantic relationships.In a country where you can't show a penis on television, the popular rapstar Snoop Dogg can sing a song on the radio called "Can U Control YoHoe," in which he says a man has to do what it takes to put his woman"in her place" even if it means "slapping her in the face."

Outside my office building in Times Square stands a billboard for the new HBO series "Big Love" — three women of varying ages stare blank-eyedand weary at one exhausted, oversexed man. Beneath them are the words"Polygamy Loves Company."

A block away, there's a long row of sex shops and strip clubs. When Irun out to grab a sandwich at lunchtime, men are waltzing into theseplaces without so much as a hint of embarrassment.

Who are they? I often wonder. What are their lives like?

It seems impossible that they all live in caves or in their mothers'basements. Most must have jobs, homes, wives, girlfriends. They are notconsidered abnormal, any more than the guy who purchases a Snoop CD, ortunes in to see how Bill Paxton deals with those three demanding wives, poor lamb. If this is the culture in which we live and love, how must men, in their heart of hearts, view women?

When I think of men this way, as I often do, I want to go back to Smithand stay there among the shaved-headed sisterhood until I die.

On the other hand, no matter how enraged I become, I still adore men andthe possibility for romance they bring. I love the smell of a man's skin. I enjoy the breathless feeling of waiting to see if he'll callback. I like dressing up for dates and dissecting a dinner conversationwith a new guy to determine if he might be The One. I admire the linear and decisive way a certain kind of man thinks, to my curlicue boundless overthinking. And nothing beats the feeling of a man's arms wrapped around me. Nothing.

I'll never fully reconcile those ideas, I know. But sometimes love surprises us with its timing and its lessons. Ten months ago, I finally met someone who, so far, has stuck. And to my Catholic family's great relief, that someone's name is not Irene.

His name is Colin, and I liked him immediately. And so I vowed, this time, not to sabotage things by mentioning sexism right away. But on our very first date, he asked about my thoughts on the feminist movement(apparently, he had been prepped by our mutual friends). When he pressed the issue, I finally blurted out: "I can't talk about feminism until youknow me better, O.K.?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I'll scare you."

He laughed. "I'm not afraid."

And he wasn't. He gets it, yet he's bold enough to stand up to me whenhe thinks I've gone too far. Confronted by my beliefs, Colin offers neither the typical blow-off of other men nor the mea culpa that Ithought I was looking for. Instead, he listens and discusses sexism withme at length, agreeing most of the time, but not always. And when he disagrees, he says so, challenging me to think about my long-heldbeliefs in new ways, and occasionally even changing my mind.

In Colin's view, a man who goes to a strip club for his bachelor partyis not necessarily a misogynist. And my argument that the women's movement has hardly made a dent ignores decades of true progress, according to him. But he has come over to my side in debates aboutpornography, prostitution, movie violence and domestic roles.

Not that there aren't moments when it seems like we're still looking at each other across a great gender divide. One discussion about sexual violence in horror films ended with his screaming, "Do you ever justlighten up?"

AND last night he mentioned that a friend of his, a screenwriter, wasoptioning a book that Colin described as "a man's guide to stringingchicks along without ever having to marry them."

"And yet you think he's a good guy?"

"He's a very good guy," Colin said.

"I don't know how someone can be good, but not do good," I shot back. I said this, but at the same time I thought about the friend in question, a man more devoted to his wife than anyone I've ever met.

Colin and I went a few more rounds before he finally said, "I admire your passion," and I conceded that his friend was indeed a pretty goodguy. Then we took a walk, got a couple of beers and laughed about it all.

Both love and life are rich in contradiction, and who am I to fight it?After all, I was the teenage girl with a framed photo of Gloria Steinem hanging on her bedroom wall, right beside a larger photo of a young Frank Sinatra.

And now I have fallen for a man who understands and respects my feminist beliefs, and who also takes me to dinner, holds the door, calls me Babydoll in a slow Southern drawl.

Embracing those contradictions has led me to discover a world between the harsh reality of sexism and the airy wishes of my love-drenched fantasies.

It's true what my Smith professor said about progress depending upon one individual changing another for the better. What she didn't say was that, inevitably, the change goes both ways.

J. Courtney Sullivan lives in New York. Her book, "Dating Up: Dump theSchlump and Find a Quality Man," will be published by Warner Books inFebruary 2007.

Coworkers or Friends?

I just discovered a new toy on Google (which could quite possibly be my favorite search engine ever.) It the Google photo manager called Picasa and it's free! This excites me. Further more, you can do cool things with it like blog on a certain photo.. which further excites me. Anyhow its a fun and cool new little gadget. So enjoy!

Look at me with my two coworkers, Becky and Diane. Aren't we cute?! I love this picture. If you have been checking out my Myspace or my facebook page, you have probably seen this picture already. If not, here for your viewing pleasure. I am not sure where the future may lead but I am pretty sure that I am on the verge of not calling them just coworkers but friends as well. Its a huge leap for them. However, these are two of the ladies I spend my day with and share my life with. Diane, on the right, is a fabulous wife and mother of one, Justin (who I have affectionately nickenamed J-10). She makes me laugh. A LOT. Becky is a fabulous expectant mother and fiancee. She makes me giggle. She is soooo silly. But she is also quite feisty! And that's what I like about her.

Don't we look great it our pastel shirts that were totally unplanned but we all came in that way? Ahhh some things are just too good to keep to myself. 

You've Got to be Kidding Me....

You've got to be kidding me - our lights went out here at work. You would think that if the lights go out that it would be a sign that it is time to leave for the day. But not here at ACLJ. Lights going out does not constitute reason enough to leave. You can use your little lamps and such and strain your already strained eyes to continue typing into your (in my case only) minute computer screen. Damn them!!! Oh and get this! once our computers follow suit and conk out, you would think that it is then time to get the hell out of dodge but OH NO! not at the ACLJ... you can try to find something to do til the big wig gets off her damn power trip and says oh ok you can go home not that its four o'clock... Mind you my good people the lights went off before 2:30pm. and the computer followed probably an hour later.

so i say again
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!

A Real Update ... Finally

What have I been up to?

Tired of my sinister rants?

Well here is a true update on life and love my dears. I haven't truthfully been up to much. My grandmother just went into surgery on June 1st for her colon cancer. Thank to all of you, esp. Ms. Shillingford, who have been there for a pick me up and encouraging words. They have been truly appreciated. She is doing fine and called me on the phone this morning which is good, her being able to use the phone. She should be coming home from the hospital sometime later this week. For now, I have been housesitting her house with my sister, not that it really needs to be watched but that's ok - I get to watch cable! Not that there is ever anything on anyway.

Speaking of cable, movies - old and new - that I have seen recently. "Saved" starring Mccauley Caulkin and Mandy Moore is really very funny and is a must see. "The Butterfly Effect" starring Ashton Kutcher was strange but I liked it. "The Perfect Man" starring Hillary Duff and Heather Locklear was definitely cute and reminded me why I liked Hilary Duff AND her real weight. "X-Men 3" did not live up to its expectation but still an enjoyable summer blockbuster. "The DaVinci Code" (avec Mathieu and Greg) was perhaps a bit too cerebral for the big screen, where it succeeded as a book it failed as a film. "V for Vendetta" was, um, I am not sure I have words for yet. Ask me again in a week. I think I liked it.
What am I looking forward to? Superman a little more so and definitely, without a doubt Pirates of the Carribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest is my top movie of the summer - it has a lot ot live up to - I hope it doesn't dissapoint.

I joined a bowling team. Now not only do I work at a bowling alley but I am bowling in a league on Sunday nights for the summer. I am kind of excited. I ordered bowling shoes a couple of weeks ago. It should be tons of fun. I am bowling with three old guys. They needed a girl and I needed a team that didnt mind that I am going to really suck. However, according to them, its ok if I suck. My handicap helps the team. Hopefully being on the team will help me to actually improve. I am in a money league so there is potential for me to get some cash out of this! I'll let you know how it goes - my first bowl: this weekend.

Love life - same. Don't really feel like going into it. You want the details, email or call me.

My upcoming summer events - hanging out with an African or two, Fourth of July Beach Party of Love and Doom, the Bahamas on a cruise, boring August apparently (perhaps C-ville to see Marc Johnson), and a faboulous Labor Day excursion to New York City with a beautiful and talented Miss Lauren Walinsky!!!!! Can you tell I am little excited about that last one?!

I was about to say that was it but work is still abysmal. I mean nobody has blown up Pat yet and thats a crime. My work load keeps growing but my pay does not. Whoever heard of raises once a year? I mean I think I merit a raise for all the new stuff I have learned how to do. Whoever heard of a job where your job description do whatever your boss wants you to do? Such a crock! On a happier note, I still enjoy the women I work with whether it be for laughs with them or at them. I am becoming better friends with my young coworkers and one of them is having a baby. (Please see other posts where I rant about everyone and their mother being pregnant and popping out babies and getting married and all that crap).

Really cool thing to happen this week: Got back in touch with an old friend - Elizabeth McAdams, now Doyal, for those of you who know her. She is living in Fairfax with her two children and hubbie and apparently they are all doing quite well.

Song of the moment: actually a tie between two new fresh and funky little summer tunes by cute girls - Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and The One You Need by Megan Rochelle.

I think that is all... if I forgot to tell you all about something - let me know and I will revise and repost.. for now, I remain,
Currently yours,
Shemeka

Can I go?

Oprah's Legends Ball.

I don't care how you feel about Oprah. I personally am pretty wishy washy when it comes to her. I am deliriously jealous is part of the problem. But like I said, I don't care how you feel about her the woman works miracles. This Legends Ball event was beyond amazing. And all I can say is, "Can I get an invite?"

I mean lets start with things you must admit. The first being is that Oprah has too much damn money!!!!! She bought a trolley so the women would not have to walk up and down the hill to the picture site. She gave each women a set of diamond earrings in a silver box. She had enough money that when she hired servants for the luncheon - all of them, all of them were white (bet a lot of you didn't notice that). I mean if there were a definition of someone with just too much money, Oprah's picture would be by it.
Second, if Oprah invites you to something, you do NOT say no. Gail was like people are calling and cancelling and people were calling to say that they were coming at the last minute. People, best better believe, if Oprah is hosting something, you want to be in attendance because its not just like she invites any old body cuz if that was the case then my mama would have been invited. I mean this woman knows how to throw a three day, lavish, ridiculous affair.
Third, Oprah is an ugly woman. I know, I know this seems a mean thing to say, but my friends its so very true. She has never been pretty. I know you have seen the Color Purple AND Beloved AND the scene on the Legends so where they are taste-testing the food and she has those little straight-back cornrows in her head. I thought at any moment she was going to break out and say, "You told Harpo to beat me." She looked a hot mess. You can tell that for Oprah makeup is not a "I can go without it" item.
Finally, the last thing you must admit is that noone throws anything like Oprah. From the decorations to the invitations, the event was first class. Which brings me back to my second point - how could anyone say no!?

I wanted to say that I truly enjoyed the honoring of some of my favorites such as Patti Labelle and Aretha and Chaka. These women have truly blessed our lives. We can all only hope that they don't stop making them like that. Those who Oprah chose as the youngins were a little scary but I appreciate the gesture she was trying to make. Even though I still think Ashanti, Mary J and Mariah could have stayed home. It was a beautiful thing to see Phyllicia Rashad and Cecily Tyson. They are two of the greats. I want to say thanks to Oprah for pulling the event off, because the words needed to be said - Thank You. We needed to thank these women for forging the path for all of us women to follow, to be proud of ourselves and our womanhood. So no matter how you feel about Oprah, she did a good thing.

It's Not You, It's Me.....

"It's not You, babe. It's Me. No, really....."

Words said when you are trying to let someone down easy. You know, take the blame for the relationship going south. But as I listened to my sister breakup with her boyfriend last night and contemplate my own "relationship" demise, I think of how I might have said these words OR worse yet, have them said to me as in, "Well it's not me breaking up with you, it's your choice," from the sig. other. This is their way of making you feel guilty, like you are a quitter in the relationship and just couldn't handle it.

Well guess what mofos! ITS NOT US - ITS YOU!!!!
and guess what else - IT IS MY CHOICE AND GUESS WHAT I DON'T CHOOSE - YOU!!!

Relationships are hard. That is the bottom line people. Seriously. You can't be in a relationship without giving something up. You just have to decide what that is. If it's something you just can't possibly live without, either you need to reexamine your priorties or it's time to say, "Adios, this has run its course." I am so tired of people hanging on to relationships for the sake of having a relationship. I am a massive victim of this for the past year. I mean I would rather be involved than uninvolved - just another thing to do rather than be bored. Isn't that pathetic? I need to take up a hobby if I am that apathetic about my relationship.

The problem isn't that I don't like the guy. He's sweet to a certan extent but when I fear bringing him around the people I love the most there is obviously a severe problem here. I am severely tired of feeling like as a woman I should be treated as someone who can be undervalued just because there is a severe shortage of good men out there. I am also tired of being told that I am unapproachable because I am smart, well educated, speak my mind, don't talk like a "nigga," "affluent," and expect my man to be the same. When did it become I have to lower my standards? There are somethings you just don't want out of a man, let alone can not reconcile yourself to deal with for the rest of your life so why try? But yet here I am in this relationship striving to make it work because "Essence,""Sister," and "Jet" magazines are all telling me not to count out the thug brother. And they are right but untimately, me and this male are uncompatible. While he wants to kick on the streets and hang out in the damn club - I want to go see Lion King on Broadway - you see how we could run into some severe issues here?

And men, I know it isn't all your fault. Some women are doing some piss poor jobs of raising good men these days. And men I also know we women ain't got all our s*it together either. Too many women willing to settle and won't make men work for it. Too many women not acting right when they have a good men turning the man all jaded and messed up for the rest of us. Too many women, of all races mind you, thinking its ok to take marriage lightly and be stepping out or letting themselves be stepped on... this stuff has got to stop! If I read one more article about how there is no hope for successful women or see one more picture where black women of power are listed and all of these women have Ms. by there name... I am gonna frickin flip! I would give up but I am true woman and realize that I need a man - not to complete me mind you - but as a companion and that is the way it should be, cooperate and communicate. Men stop hurting women and WOMEN stop hurting you men. When it comes down to it, I guess I want an ideal that obviously doesn't exist and I don't want to be the one to be on the outside looking in. However, as for as current situations and relationships go.... really, hey, guess what, it really isn't me - ITS YOU!

Some Things I'd Like to Yell @ Work

My favorites are highlighted.... ACLJ, watch out.....


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door ..1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different

No one is alone.....

My best friend and I have been talking about depression and she just so happened to write an email that explians basically what she is depressed about. I hope it is ok with her but I am going to repost that email. I am going to change the things that apply to me or things that don't apply to me but these are things that are there - that are always under the surface - that I want everyone to know so that you don't feel alone if you feel like this or if you don't feel like this to have a better understanding of why I do and what you can do to help me.

I really, really, really miss you guys. I am bored and frustrated and unmotivated. I don't know what to do with myself. You guys, I am so depressed. I don't remember the last time I felt this down or if I ever felt this down. I hate complaining because God has blessed me with so many things and so many opportunities. But the stress is getting to me.

First of all, I am seriously doubting myself when it comes to getting into law school. I am not the student I used to be, not meaning that I can't do the work - I just don't have the credentials. I dicked around in undergrad and now that I want to do graduate work and my law program, its going to be killer getting in. I am worried and scared. I think I might have to settle for some rink dink college and thats not me - middle of nowhere school. WM does not count as middle of nowhere. It is respected. I am talking noone has ever heard of it before middle of nowhere.

On top of that, staying home is scary becuase I don't want to continue into the same routine of life. I don't want to share an apartment. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to feel like I am stalking who ever else I know just so I don't have too much time to be alone and think. I don't want to hang out with people because they are always available. I don't want to give anymore advice on crazy people's relationships. I don't want to sneak around with men who are clearly not worth it. I don't want to have to go through the process of meeting new people and starting a new job. I don't want to be bored. I don't want to feel pissy because there is nothing exciting for me to do. I don't want to run into people in DC that I really don't want to see. I don't want to keep pretending that it doesn't suck to live so far away from everyone and I know one or two of you who live in other states can agree with this. I don't want to continue to be resentful of that fact either but I'll be damned if I keep caving and coming to DC. I don't want to start another relationship that is going no where. I don't want to enter another friends with benefits situation. And most of all, I don't want to worry about trying to be happy.

So, I don't think I have been this lonely ever. And I am going to be very explicit here. I feel like a loser. I realized that I totally suck at this dating game. I don't think I have ever had a serious boyfriend. All the while, I am 24 f*ckin years old and I have had multiple sex partners. Isn't that ridiculous? So, I am okay to have sex with but not to date. And the sad thing is that if something was wrong with me, like my vagina stunk, or I couldn't cook, or I was emasculating, or if it was something, something tangible, I would feel better. At least then I would know why no one is interested. But now, all I am left thinking is that I must be too fat or too ugly or uninteresting or something. There is some reason why men don't find me 'relationship' material and why they can only tell me there true feelings when it is too late, or why they are embarrassed to like me or something. I just want to know what is wrong with me.

And at this rate, with everyone getting married, I am feeling more vulnerable and pissy. Not only is everyone getting married, but even the most unlikely people have boyfriends. And generally, I just feel pathetic. Not that men are that important, but it kind of stinks being the single one. I always feel like 3rd or 5th wheel. I always feel like I am looking and I always feel like everyone else knows that I am looking and it is so embarrassing. Because then I might seem pressed (and maybe I am). But, at this point, I am not even trying to find marraige, I just want someone to want me or something.

And being here makes me feel like my biological clock is ticking. I know I am not ready right now for kids, but that is probably because no one even wants to make kids with me. And everyone here has kids or is trying to have kids or has plans to have kids in the recent future. And me, what am I doing? Planning to have children out of wedlock just so I have something that is my own you know? Becuase I don't forsee anyone making a commitment to me, so I would rather commit myself to my child.

And when will I find a job that I don't feel like shooting myself in the face when I go there every day. I hate authority but it is something that I will face at every job, everywhere.

In essence, I just don't know what to do with myself, how to do it, or sometimes if it's even really what I even want to do. Nothing has gone my way and its probably because I am a mean, lazy, selfish, unmotivated person. And I have tried so hard to overcome these traits, but I can't seem to shake them. And right now, I hate myself most becuase I don't even seem to have the will to continue trying to change.

And to top it off, the stress of all these thoughts is killing me. My body is breaking down. I am experiencing all sorts of stomach problems and sensitivity to foods. I am getting more vulnerable to all sorts of infections and viruses and illnesses. And in general, my body is fatigued. Not only am I sick, but my favorite great aunt has congestive heart failure and my grandmother has colon cancer. My grandmother will be going into surgery and these things are not light - its very invasive. Of course, this is stressing me out more.

Sorry guys, I know this is a lot of depressing shit to just put down. I don't want to make you guys sad or anything and I am really happy that things are going well for everone else. I just had to get it out because they are overwhelming me. But, I figured since I found out other people felt this way, I might as well put it out there. Hopefully it might touch one of you and you'll know that you aren't alone in these sentiments. Thanks for listening.....

Sides of Being a Woman

Mommies and Wives......

Those are words I am tired of hearing. No seriously. At my age, you can either dread them or embrace them. Right now, I am in the throes of dread. Dread because when, if ever, are either of these two going to be attainable? Dread because if it does happen, why do so many women stop being women and become So & so's Mom or Whatchamcallit's Wife? Dread because will it happen the wrong way - will I become pregnant and then some time down the road get married?

What brought all this on? Well three things really and in no particular order, the women at my job, an email from a friend, and a friend's haircut. My friend got a haircut and it looks fabulous. I really love it. I thought,"Thank God! She finally looks like *Susan and not just *Bobby's mother." And it's not that she doesn't dress age appropriate really or her hair before was bad at all. It's just that I was getting tired of her whole life being center around her kid. But IT IS HER LIFE. That's not her fault by any means but hey, we are the same age. I'd like to think we are the same kind of people - not totally but on basic levels. However, there has got to be more to life than your child and husband. I mean I never understood this about my mom until now but when we were little though my mom took care of us and we were much better raised than some of the kids now, she was rarely home. We were rarely home. She had a busy engaging life with her friends. I used to think we were a little neglected and maybe we were but if I had to choose my mom's way or my friend's way, I'd choose not to lose who I am in the reality of being a Mom or Wife. I want my friend to know that I value her and her opinons and I like the way she lives her life. It's for her. But the old saying is right. Its hard for single, and I would add unencumbered people, to hang out with married people. We sometimes just don't mesh well together. I want to enjoy being young and this time in my life - even though I am not, I am glad I am not bogged down with that other stuff so I have the option.

Can there be more to be a woman than just the end goal of being a wife or a mother? Do I challenge and push myself enough to make my other goals occur? Traditionally, society would push us to chose between the two but I would hope that there is a way to be both. The woman I am growing into and always have been AND adding on the woman I will be when I become a wife and/or mother. We don't have to be scared that we are going to totally lose ourselves or the things we have worked so hard to come through as a woman, the obstacles we have faced and beaten do not have to be traded in for aprons. We are more than what we appear and there are so many sides to being a woman, to being a human being.

We, along with our male counterparts, need to recognize that we can be mothers and wives and so much more....

I Enjoy Being A Girl...

I hate that commercial where Sarah Jessica Parker is singing that "I Enjoy Being A Girl" song and skipping all over some unnamed metropolitan town. Probably because I don't really care for Sarah Jessica Parker. She is UGLY. Don't let her fool you people. She has a horse face. Look back at the 1980's, she always played the frizzy haired sidekick girl, i.e. sidekick to Kevin Bacon's tall blond love in Footloose. She is NOT hot. Somehow because she up and married someone talented, she all of a sudden gets to be cute. Don't be fooled......

However, that is not what this blog is about. This blog is about me being cute. Sometimes you just gotta feel yourself, you know. You just have to have those days where you are feeling good and looking good. I mean the compliments on these days are great but only because if no one said anything, you'd still be like I look good and strut on with your bad self. There aren't too many of these days. Most days we feel like crud and for some people I know, makeup is the ONLY thing that saves them from really looking how they feel. However, when these days come along we are hoping that so does that guy we are looking for because for once we are all put together. Do we meet any guys on these days of unexpected diva-ness? Of course not.

Yet, we have to give ourselves credit ladies. When we got the new hair-do, the nails are looking right, the toes are looking right, the outfit is fitting like it's supposed to, we feel like the invincible divas we should always consider ourselves. Today was one of those days for me. I got a new outfit which you could check out if you know me on myspace or facebook. I got my hair braided a couple of weeks ago and I was wearing cute new shoes. I also can't forget to thank my new skin bronzer from Avon. Altogether it was a pretty killer combination. My skin was glowing and my smile was bright. I like those days. I like those days when you have taken extra time putting yourself together and it actually does come together.

It's hard, isn't it? Always having the motivation to do all that stuff. I mean don't you wish you could just roll out of bed looking fabulous without all the extra, extra effort. I mean even those of us who are naturally good looking, the extra steps you have to take to make yourself irresistible are time consuming and sometimes a little less rewarding than we would like them to be. On those days we expect everything to go right. We expect the doors to open for us and for opportunities to just fall in our laps. Yet the doors remained close and we get down about our goals. The extra effort does not seem to be worth it. We are tired of the game.

I got an email today from a girlfriend that I am going to blog about in a second in another blog that totally burst my blog bubble. Here I am writing about the day I felt pretty when I know that these days are too far and in between. Most of the time, I feel unaccepted and ugly. We women do not take the time to appreciate ourselves and call those women who pay attention to themselves self-centered and conceited. Yes there is an extreme to both sides but here I am marveling over ONE DAY where I felt really good about myself. I could fool myself into saying this happens more often but it really doesn't. Why is that? I don't know but I am gonna continue in my other blog. As for ending this one I would like to say, I attended a seminar about three weeks ago about being a D.I.V.A. I am now a card carrying DIVA and that means I am a D.etermined, I.ntangible, V.irtuous, and A.ppointed by God woman. This made me feel good, for that day. I need to start living up to my title. We all do. And not just every once in awhile, but we should have "I Enjoy Being A Girl' days a lot more often.

White Woman Raising A Black Man

First off, it isn't possible. Ok anything is possible, but with our modern day perception of white women and black men, you know its true. While I hate to make sweeping generalizations - what does raising a black man mean really? Because no matter how you raise the child, if there is one drop, then you will always be "raising a black man."

I guess they mean culturally. Will they be raising their sons to be strong black men culturally? The funny part of this is where are the cultural examples of "GOOD", strong, black men? I mean to raise a black man could be to, pardon my language, raise some little nigga for the streets. Does it mean to make sure they understand culturally the struggle, the plight of the black man? I can't even talk in any kind of order because I have so many thoughts going on here. The "GOOD" examples of black men are called sell outs and uncle toms anyway. Equal to their successful women counterparts they are told they are trying to "act white" by getting a good education, especially if its a college education and its not at a historically black college.

So where does this leave our brothers? Where does it leave the mothers, the ones of other races who worry that they child will have a confused identity? My friend, Sexy Thought, blogs about what is your primary identity? What does a person consider their primary make up? In the case of these women trying to raise a black child, is it that they want their children to recognize themselves as or connect themselves first to their racial identity? That is how important it is. You can't go through life being ambiguous especially with dark skin. You are already to someone who looks at your perhaps black, then male, then Christian, then a college graduate or whatever. Unfortunately, it's harder for it to happen "oh shes a female, Christian, graduate, poet who happens to be black. It is the marker. It is the identity.

These women are having a hard time in their opinion "raising a black man," because they don't identify themselves with this identity. Being black is not one of their primary traits. And that is more important than being a male of female because I would venture to say that for a black woman it is far easier, at least culturally, to raise a black man where his primary identity is that of a black man. But don't give up women of other races. Most importantly, you are trying to raise a good man - and that, in any race, is still damn hard to find.

the Biological Clock

Tic.





Toc.



Tic.


Toc.

Tic.
Toc.
tic,toc, tic, toc, tic toc tictoctictoctictoc........

You get the picture. Recently my friend wrote a blog about her biological clock ticking and it got me to thinking. Yeah, it's that age. And yeah here we are ladies, sitting at a time in our lives where some of our parents (well at least mine) were well into parenthood. The natural progression of things and the circle of life continues to move forward.

However, times have changed. We've changed. While motherhood is welcomed for many of us - it's still put off. We want a freedom to be the woman we are before we have to change into our mothers. Its just how it is now. I have friends who were very, very excited about marriage and babies and the whole bit but now that they are married, I hear things for them like I need to do this before I get pregnant or me and my husband are waiting we are really not ready or I am bored and wish I had some other direction in life. So basically, how better off are they than I? They are just as confused and with another person in tow, that can't be any less complicated. I pray to God as my friend does that I will be sensible, that He will protect and direct me until some of the confusion and disorientation with just being a woman of now dies away. I pray that He will keep me until He reveals what He wants me to do. I let him know that I am repentant for my bad actions but hopefully he will protect me from some of the consequences such a pregnancy.

My friend and I discussed this. We have reached a point that adoption is a less than 1% option. Although the clock is ticking, we do want time to do it the right way. Because it will still be a long while before the clock stops - or at least I hope so.

Crashing Pimps

So I have spent almost a week now listening to the back lash about the Oscars, in particular the Best Picture upset and Three 6 Mafia's win for Best Original Song. First and foremost, I must say that I have not had a chance to see all the best picture nominees so I can't make a complete judgement - however, the fact that people were sooooooo very, very put out by the fact that Crash won only lends itself to the importance of the film's win.

I hear my people complaining. I hear them complaining. I hear them saying - why they got to win for that song? Why Halle win the Oscar for being a ho? Why Denzel got to be a crooked cop before he win the Oscar? Sometimes I agree. I have seen Denzel amaze me with his acting skills so many times in films that it might just not be right that instead of winning for playing a father with nowhere to turn for his sick son in John Q, the academy awards him for playing a dirty, dishonest street cop from the wrong side of the tracks in Training Day. However, there are more to the Academy Awards than meets the eye. Sometimes its just time for that person to win. It's time for them to be recognized - and in life - not in memoriam or that lame end of your life award (sorry we never gave it to you but here it is - lame). Sometimes everything has to add up to a win. Three 6 won that award for its orginality - its reference to the movie. They aren't glorifying being a pimp as they said - it went along with a work of fiction and won for it symmetry to what was being portrayed on film.

So why are we complaining? What's going my people? What's going my fellow races? Are we so indifferent to racism that a film that portrays it real - that pulls it out of the dirty grubby little hand we as Americans peek in at then hide behind our backs - that tries to throw open the door and lets us know its not gone, its not finished cannot win an Oscar for Best Picture. Are we trying to be too sensitive, too politically correct when we say that Brokeback should have won? It was a love store - beautiful and painful. Does it get to win just because it was between two men? I will lend my voice to what I think of the other films when I see them and I am sure that Capote, Munich and Good Night and Good Luck will all show me that they were all of critical acclaim and good films but will they show me that they were better than Crash? We'll have to keep watching to find out.

Hi God, It's Me, Shemeka

Did you ever read that book, Are you there God, It's Me Margaret? It's about a young girl named Margaret who has to move from the city to the suburbs and is going into sixth grade. Sixth grade is a hard grade and she has to make new friends. Throughout the story, Margaret talks to God. She tells him her innermost thoughts, wishes and desires. Her relationhip with Him is up close and personal. He is her very best friend.

I am talking to God.

Its been awhile but it feels good. I talk to him on a normal basis now, about my deicisions, my indecisiveness, my future, my past, my friends and family. Its cool. I think we forget how good it feels to have someone there at all times. I mean I am discovering what a sense of peace and ease I feel about life because I trust him to help me along the way. Of course, I still feel anxiety - I'm human. But whenever, I do its easier to turn to him and ask guidance and just let go. Asking God for peace is the most helpful thing I have ever done. I never felt more at ease with my life than I do right now.

If you are a believer, why do we doubt him? I guess because its in our very nature to be afraid because we are the ones who messed up in the first place. We messed up perfection. I believe as humans we are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We are just waiting for God to be like, you never deserved this anyway and I am taking it all away. That is probably the most scary thing I have ever thought. Because I'm a believer. I know that I am never, ever going to be worthy of the love that Christ has shown me and no matter how I try I cannot never repay the debt that I owe. And we feel guilty when we mess up because he loves and blesses us anyway. And sometimes its not that we aren't trying but we know we could be doing better.

While, as my mother says,"I still ain't got it right," I know God is working with me. I know He is showing himself to me. The proof is in the post. How long has it taken me to reach a point where I can openly talk about my faith? I can be a fisher of men, just like he wants. He shows me miracles of people who were non-believers telling me that they are now Christians. And He blesses me - even though I don't deserve it. There are a million things that could be happening in my life right now. There are a million ways that I am determined to screw it up but God keeps it all on track in his timing. And even when bad things come, I have prayed for peace and He has calmed my spirit. I feel lucky.

I know some of you are thinking,"Shemeka, please don't get too deep on us." And to that I say, in the words of Ray Charles,"Oh, you give your hand to me, and then you say goodbye, and I watch you walk away, beside the lucky guy, oh but you will never, never know, the one who loves you so, oh you dont know me."

What is history?

I just can't believe the things you can learn during one month of paying attention to facts that are so often overlooked. February is Black History Month and those people who say that they don't need it or want it are sadly naive. Sure in an idealistic society we would learn about great accomplishments from all races all year long but in the world we live in now, we CANNOT give up the month in which at least our african american achievements are acknowledged and celebrated.

So I learned a few things from a couple of different sources. Did you know that a black man invented the filament for the light bulb? Althougt we credit Thomas Edison his light bulb would not have worked at all if it was not for the filament to keep the electirc curretn under control. What about air conditioning and the clothes dryer? Some things we probably could not live without. Its just hard to believe that you never knew who was behind these things. Even the cell phone was black invention!! I am always impressed with our people and I am so happy that I can always include intellegiently as well.

Why don't we learn about these things? They are important not just for our self-esteem and empowerment as a people but also because teaching importance of all people, all year would help with our culture's ability to live in a more tolerant, less bigoted society. I want to become a teacher just so that I can show people these things; So I can change the way children think. If that's not a lofty and worthy goal I don't know what is. Can we keep our fingers crossed? Can we pray that things will get better? Well I hope for the best and work to change the future.

another quiz - a weird one

You would be an Immortal. Basicly someone who
cannot be killed by weapons or average magic
and wont die of age or illness. But can only
be killed by not feeding on a pure soul every
full moon or by someone why extra ordinary
magic. Immortals are very independent and
like to be on their own. They have great
powers over magic and can see into the
future. They use their powers and advantage
of immortality to help those who need it.

What would you be in a fantasy world? Girlys only! (anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

My Color (not skin people)

Reds are motivated by POWER, seek productivity, and
need to look good to others. Simply stated,
REDS want their own way. They like to be in
the drivers seat and willingly pay the price
to be in a leadership role. REDS value
whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it
be at work, school, or in their personal
relationships. What REDS value, they get
done. They are often workaholics. They will,
however, resist being forced to do anything
that doesnt interest them.
Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave
approval from others for their intelligence
and insight. They want to be respected even
more than they want to be loved. They want to
be admired for their logical, practical
minds. REDS are confident, proactive,
visionary, and can be arrogant, selfish, and
insensitive. When you deal with a RED, be
precise, factual, and direct.

What Color Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

although this was about my personality - a black history month post is coming soon

Coworkers

This a post from a previous blog that deserves to be repeated. Look out for a part two soon.

Check the title.


Yea this blog is about those people who are supposed to be those whom with which you SHARE work. That is probably the crux of some of everybody's problems with their "coworkers." When you are on the job and there are those few people who are actually dedicated to doing the least amount of work possible, you start to have a problem with these "co-workers." However, that is not the main issue of my blog. It is to discuss, without using names, of course, the many, many, many, scary and sometimes just not right idiosyncrisies of the ladies I work with. Lately I have come to the point that unless I go ahead and do a little venting about their madness I will be lost forever in an abyss of anger over their craziness.

Let us start with the most flummoxing case of all. There is a woman I work with who is a nice lady on the surface. I mean and she could be pretty not for the hideously garage sale/express look she tries to throw together with a sixties/seventies/i didnt feel like doing my hair today idea that completely fails miserably. This person also happens to wear the most hideously strong cheap parfum. It could smell good, no matter the cheapness because most of it is from avon, if she didnt take a shower in it before coming into work causing my olfactory senses to make my eyes tear up and me to sneeze when i enter her presence at 8:07am because she never - not ever - gets to work on time. You would think someone of this caliber would obviously stop there but oh no, the weirdness continues. The lady has a shrine to her unborn on her desk - a freakin shrine people. If that is not creepy, I really don't know what is. She keeps rocks and things and plants and stuff around her desk, and freaks if someone sits on her "chair pillow." Her headphones stay blasting at all times. But what must be the freakiest thing of all, the weird thing that takes the cake is what I call the "Bathroom Ritual." When this lady enters the restroom, you know it, if you are already in a stall. You will promptly hear - "ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" "sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" "ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" for what appears to be like five minutes as she sprays her stall with lysol. You can then hear her exit the stall to get a set cover after which you will hear "sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" as she continues to, without any regard for my nose, empty the lysol can. She uses the bathroom after which there is again the insistant hiss of the lysol can. She washes her hands for at least three minutes. And then finally exits the bathroom where I swear she goes back to her desk and uses anti-bacterial. This lady always swears the community fridge for everyones lunches has a smell and needs to be cleaned and is usually the evil wench to throw away your lunch because your name wasn't written big enough on it. And if that's not enough she happens to also be overly opinonated without knowing how to state her facts without offending you. Enough of her freakish ways! As Foamy would say, "She should just build a bomb out an old lysol can and just blow up her house and die - just die."

NEXT!
Let's talk about another coworker. Sweet, sweet lady with a great laugh but also - ANNOYING AS HELL. Is it possible for me to do my job without every five minutes being checked up on or told how to do something or having my imput to a situation ignored. I swear it seems like with her I will be in training at this job FOREVER. If she sees me doing something that I shouldn't be doing she comes close, too close in fact for personal space on the job rules, and whispers,"Sherry (a supervisor, name changed to protect the innocent) saw you." To which I wish I could respond I know and I don't care cuz everyone else does it. And she does it so conspiratorily like I am supposed to appreciate that she is letting me know without saying it to the whole room. Get this I DONT CARE! She also used to manage to completely screw up my time card no matter what i did to get her to fix it. Obviously I had to flip out one good time to get her to think I mean business.

A double dose of madness...now these two are my only really young coworkers. They are both actually really nice and sometimes cool but can turn supremely evil. Sometimes they are like the whiniest people on the face of this planet, not seriously, but i can exaggerate a little. I mean even though they are nice and even cool, they both have really small idiosyncrisies that they want everyone to deal with but if they have to deal with something of someone else's it is a really big deal. Like for example, a recent conversation,"UGH!! Who moved my time card?! I always put it in slot three and someone is always moving it. Jesus I have been doing it since I started here can't people just leave stuff alone." "Oh yea I know. That sucks.' Ten seconds later at the fridge upon coming across a note asking someone to return the soda that was taken that belonged to another coworker, "Oh my god, its like just a coke - cant she get over it?" "I know its like 50 cent." To which my response would have been, "Like OMG its just a f*ckin time card. And it doesnt cost anything or inconvenience you to clock out from spot four. Jesus." LoL I mean its really sad sometimes. Just deal with things people ... just deal with it.

Pet Peeves Lady. Ok so everything bothers this lady. She doesnt want anyone touching anything on her desk. She cant stand it when the water bottle thing is empty and she won't replace it cuz her back is messed up. She has a freakish obsession with a little bug. Doesn't really want anyone to borrow anything but has like straws, salt, pepper, bandaids, safety pins, en masse just so you have to ask her for it. Did I mention this person is also the parking lot monitor. Makes alot of sense huh? lol

I mean I could go on and on really but I am sure that there needs to be another installment of this at a later date so for now I am done being very very evil about the people with whom i supposedly work.