Ok so originially this was going to be post whining and ranting about the incongruity of being single versus being paired and how married/coupled people no longer understand your dilemna.. esp if you are a single woman. However something much more important was brought to my attention by my best friend's blog and she should probably sue me for plagurism but its not my fault that she just puts things twice as elegantly as I can in some situations.
Speaking of which, below she talks about something that I had to recognize as truth in some respects. Especially since I was a victim of something that is a result of men's insecurities. Last night a guy told me that if we got a house together that it would be in his name because I would never be able to tell him "get out of my house." Never mind you that, if this relationship were to go anywhere, in the future, I would probably be the one making more money and I already have better credit.... what sense would it make to have a home in his name? none. I told him this but he was more concerned about who would have the control in the relationship. Men.. need I say more? Read on......
Dwindling Libido by Sexy Thought
What is up with men these days?! Has the world turned upside down? Is this the cause of current administrative reversion to pre-hippy revolution time?
A few friends and I have been making note of or experiencing a decline in men’s sexual desire. More accurately, it is men’s inability to perform when and how needed that has become more noticeable. Men have increasingly become preoccupied with other things and have begun to behave in a manner we would traditionally attribute to women.
I first started to have this experience early in college. I am the type of person that doesn’t really have sex often. And although I really like sex, I would rather not have it than to have it sparsely. So, I would rather wait for a partner that is reliable. This means that I want to wait for a guy who will give it to me, good and consistently. I don’t want anyone I have to hunt down to pleasure me, better yet pleasure me well. So, when the guy that I was dating would say that he wasn’t in the mood or do little things like that, it annoyed the hell out of me. Particularly since I am of the mindset that relationships should be fairly equal. Meaning that we should both be able to set the terms of our interaction. Neither one of us needs to feel like we are pestering the other. And most of all, we have intimate relations on both of our terms, when one or both of us want it, not simply when he wants it. I am a product of the post-sexual revolution era.
Recently, it seems that this has been occurring to me and everyone around me. We can’t seem to get it when we want it (and how hasn’t even entered the discussion). In addition, men are giving up sex for things like tv, work, or even because they are nosey about what everyone else is doing. I mean come on. Ladies, if your man wanted to have sex, would you really be like, ‘actually, I want to see if such and such is doing it first?’ I doubt it. So, these excuses, which could be totally valid just seem like bullshit because no one is expecting men to give up sex, not even for something important. And I am wondering what is behind this lost libido.
To add fuel to the fire, what is commonly known as the ‘body wars’ is occurring all over the world. Men (I say men because most heads of state and politicians and policy makers are men) are sitting together deciding what will and should happen with women’s bodies. They are deciding whether we can have abortions, whether family planning should be an option for us, whether we should be allowed to enjoy sex within marriage and whether we have the right to life if we engage in sexual activity prior to marriage. And I think their lost libido is the cause of recent moves towards conservative approaches to sex and sexuality. The truth is that men can no longer handle the heat and have reverted to religion and morality to justify their inability to handle women’s sex drives.
Honest, back during the sexual revolution, men were pro women’s sexual freedom. Do you know why? Because they thought that they would benefit from it. They thought to themselves that it would be great to have lots of loose women submitting to their every desire because they were no longer held back by men’s definitions of morality, decency, and religious devotion. But to their surprise, once women were emancipated from sexual inhibitions, they started demanding more. Now women are asking for sex on their terms, when, where and how they want it. And it has become too much for men to handle. They have become emasculated because rather than having unlimited access and will to do whatever they feel with any women, they have become exposed. Their inability to maintain healthy sexual functioning after a certain age, the decline in their libido, and their sub-par performance have all been open to questioning. And the more women question, the more they realize that they don’t have to put up with that crap. In addition, women have started to take the lead and demand certain actions.
So, now that our freedom of sexuality no longer benefits men and actually puts them under increased pressure to perform, they have decided that the old moral order is best. And now they want to put laws in place to limit our promiscuity. Now they feel that previous notions of acceptable sexuality are more in their interests than unlimited access to a bunch of demanding women. Shame on us for letting them continue to set the terms of our sexuality!
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