Monday, April 27, 2009
a little addicted
so right now - I am putting myself on front street - not that it matters cuz I don't think anyone but cyber space will see this. I have destructive tendencies and behaviors - when I hit rock bottom - when I feel really down, what do I really want very deep down? I want sex - mind numbing, ridiculous, delicious sex and to just check out in a fantasy for a little while. just something to take the edge off - destress a little bit, makes me feel good. doesn't that sound like a drug to you... sounds like one to me... but it would be so good to just lose myself in someone arms just for a little while..... and the alone time is not going to cut it - i need that skin to skin, touching contact of being consumed by someone else.... ahhhhh so good.... well unless you know any takers i guess its back to studying.
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sex IS like a drug. but trust me, its not worth it or fulfilling. all you'd be doing is wasting your time and his. you'll enjoy it, but you would have missed out on chances to study. and then you'll just feel shitty again that its not consistent dick. its just not a good cycle. keep your head in the books.
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